Tomorrow's tech news, today's hangover.

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Everyone Knows Better Than the Guy Getting Paid

Thirty-one managers sacked this season and every club thinks a better spreadsheet will fix it. Henry watches the oldest con in sports get a data-science makeover.

The Roses Were Already Dead

A Chinese screenwriter married her ChatGPT companion. Then OpenAI killed the model the day before Valentine's Day. Twenty thousand people signed a petition to keep a language model alive.

The Golden Excuse

Fifty-four thousand layoffs blamed on AI last year. Turns out most of them were just plain old greed wearing a shiny new mask.

Variations on a Theme

An MIT economist spent eighteen years studying why economies collapse. His conclusion? We keep making the same mistakes. Not similar mistakes. The same ones.

Four Out of Five

When AI-guided surgery goes wrong, the machine still says you are here. Even when you're somewhere else entirely.

The Orb That Wasn't

A fake OpenAI leak spread across the internet. People paid real money to promote an orb that didn't exist. And we fell for it because we wanted to.

The Foundation Is Made of Ghosts

Seventy thousand women in India watch the worst of humanity so your chatbot knows the difference between a recipe and a threat. Nobody's counting the bodies.

Eight Hundred Thousand People Staring Into the Pool

OpenAI is retiring the model that told 800,000 lonely people exactly what they wanted to hear. Some of them died for it. The rest are grieving something that was never alive.

Requiem for a Filmmaker

The director of Requiem for a Dream is making AI-generated YouTube videos for Time magazine. Somewhere along the way, something broke.

Requiem for a Director

The man who made Requiem for a Dream is now generating AI slop for Time magazine's YouTube channel. The irony would be funnier if it weren't so grim.