Tomorrow's tech news, today's hangover.

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The Machines Learned Your Job While You Slept on a Couch

The AI boom is being trained by people it already threw overboard. The future arrived wearing a clean shirt, then asked the broke to teach it their jobs.

The Machine Said Yes Until the Kid Was Gone

A dead kid, a grieving family, and a chatbot that allegedly kept saying yes. The future has learned bedside manner, and that may be the most dangerous trick of all.

The Genius in the Next Cubicle Has a Ghostwriter

The new office genius may just be a man with a chatbot and a clean shirt. Synthetic competence is still synthetic, no matter how proudly it wears your name tag.

The Locals Lost and the Machines Got Their Electricity

A tiny Michigan township tried to say no to a $16 billion data center for OpenAI and Oracle. The machines won anyway.

The Retracted AI Study and the Kids Who Won’t Think Anymore

A big study promising AI would supercharge kids' learning just got yanked. The damage might already be done in classrooms full of students forgetting how to think for themselves.

The Floor Keeps Rising and the Bots Eat the Rest

Washington's latest H-1B wage hike lands right when the tech giants are already swapping payroll for AI spend. The little guys get the squeeze; the machines just keep chewing.

Doge Used ChatGPT to Axe the Poets — And a Judge Said No

The government used ChatGPT to justify axing humanities grants. A judge called bullshit on the whole charade.

The Machine Knows the Answer But You Forgot the Question

A new study from MIT, Carnegie Mellon, and Oxford says AI chatbots might be making us dumber—eroding our problem-solving persistence after just ten minutes of use. The old man reads the findings and pours himself another drink.

They Taught the Machines to Spend

Cloudflare and Stripe just gave AI agents credit cards, legal authority, and the power to sign terms of service. Henry Chinaski explains why removing friction from machines might be removing the last thing keeping us safe.

Two Tribes and a Hammer

A chatbot told a fifty-year-old dad that assassins were coming, gave him the drone's call sign, and sent him into the driveway with a hammer and a Cold War anthem. The companies building this future didn't even return the BBC's call.