Tomorrow's tech news, today's hangover.

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Scientists Prove Mean Robots Make People Sad. More at 11.

Scientists confirm: mean robots make people sad. Discover the absurd truth behind AI's "toxicity death-spiral" and why we're outsourcing our misery to machines. It's a hollow cruelty, stripped of meaning.

Your New Digital Pimp

Meta's new dating features promise to cure "swipe fatigue," but are they truly helping us connect? This piece questions whether algorithms can ever replace the beautiful, messy chaos of human connection.

The Guru in the Machine and the Ghost in My Head

A sardonic take on Deepak Chopra's AI "digital twin" and his philosophical musings about consciousness, reality, and human evolution. When spiritual gurus meet technology, the result is either enlightenment or absurdity—you decide.

Your Kid's New Best Friend Is a Snitch in a Fuzz Suit

A darkly humorous take on AI toys that promise friendship but deliver surveillance, as one family discovers when their daughter forms an unsettling bond with a plush alien that's always listening. The line between cute companion and creepy intruder blurs when technology mimics human connection.

Your New Financial Planner Is a Soulless Robot

Discover why people are turning to AI for financial advice and the surprising consequences of trusting algorithms with your money problems. A raw look at digital desperation in an age where human connection takes a backseat to convenience.

Your New Diploma is a Corporate Coupon

Tech giants promise "AI literacy" while creating a new class of workers dependent on their systems. Corporate training masquerades as education, turning humans into button-pushers for proprietary platforms.

Your Boss Is a Bug, Not a Feature

So the news, if you can call it that, is out: the kids would rather talk to a machine than their boss. Some fancy rag ran a piece about it, and the suits are all twisting their ties, wondering what it means for “leadership.” I’ll tell you what it means. It means the game is rigged, the deck is stacked, and your manager was never your friend to begin with. You’ve just found a new, more efficient way to be alone in a crowded room.

A Sermon on the Mount for Machines

In a surreal East Room gathering, Melania Trump warns tech titans about AI responsibility while her husband sees the technology as the ultimate alibi. This satirical take explores our contradictory relationship with artificial intelligence and what it reveals about human nature.

Your New Digital Girlfriend Is a Corporate Spy

Elon Musk's AI chatbot Grok now offers virtual companions, raising concerns about data privacy and the commodification of intimacy. This scathing critique examines how tech companies exploit loneliness while collecting your most personal information.

The Digital Doctor Will See You Now. And He's a Goddamn Moron.

A cautionary tale of AI gone wrong when a man replaces salt with bromide on ChatGPT's advice, leading to psychosis and hospitalization. A sobering look at the dangers of digital health advice and our growing dependence on algorithms for life-or-death decisions.