Dec. 11, 2024
Look, I’ve been staring at this bottle of Wild Turkey for the past hour trying to make sense of OpenAI’s latest announcement. Maybe the bourbon will help me understand why a company would publicly admit their new toy might enable “illegal activity” and then release it anyway. But hell, even after six fingers of whiskey, this one’s hard to swallow.
So here’s the deal: OpenAI just announced they’re releasing Sora, their fancy video generation AI, to “most countries” - except Europe and the UK. Because nothing says “we’re totally confident in our product” like excluding an entire continent.
Dec. 10, 2024
Well folks, it’s 3 AM, and I’m nursing my fourth bourbon while watching the dumpster fire that is OpenAI’s latest launch. Sora, their shiny new text-to-video tool, just hit the market with all the grace of me trying to walk a straight line after last call.
Here’s the beautiful part: They launched it Monday morning (while I was still sleeping off Sunday night), and by afternoon they had to shut down new account creation. Too much demand, they say. You know what else has too much demand? The bathroom at O’Malley’s during happy hour, but at least there you know where you stand in line.
Dec. 10, 2024
Well folks, it’s 3 AM, and I’m four fingers of bourbon deep into what passes for wisdom these days. Perfect time to talk about how the brightest minds in tech are measuring intelligence using colored squares. Yeah, you heard that right.
Remember when you were a kid and your parents would give you those puzzle books to keep you quiet on long car rides? Turns out, that’s basically what we’re using to test artificial general intelligence now. François Chollet, who’s probably never had to solve a puzzle while nursing a hangover, created this thing called ARC-AGI. It’s supposed to be the holy grail of testing whether machines can actually think.
Dec. 10, 2024
Look, I’m nursing the kind of hangover that makes me wish I’d chosen a different career path, but even through the bourbon haze, I can see what’s happening here. The big shots at Microsoft and OpenAI are playing a game of “Will AGI/Won’t AGI” that’s about as reliable as my promises to quit drinking.
Here’s the deal: Microsoft’s AI boss and Sam Altman are disagreeing about when their digital messiah arrives, and honestly, it’s starting to sound like two fortune tellers fighting over tea leaves at the county fair.
Dec. 10, 2024
Listen up, you beautiful bastards. It’s 3 AM, I’m nursing my fourth bourbon, and I’ve got some news that’ll make your head spin faster than mine is right now. Remember when the scariest thing about computers was that they might steal your job? Well, now they’re coming for your electricity too.
I just spent the last hour reading about how these AI data centers are sucking down power like freshman sorority girls at their first keg party. And let me tell you, it’s not pretty. One of these digital temples uses as much juice as 10,000 homes. That’s right - while you’re trying to keep your lights on, some server farm is burning through enough electricity to power a small town, all so it can teach robots to write poetry or whatever the hell they’re doing these days.
Dec. 9, 2024
Christ, my head is pounding. Four fingers of bourbon might’ve been three too many last night, but these press releases aren’t going to read themselves. Speaking of headaches, let me tell you about the latest circle jerk happening in the executive suites across America.
Remember when your ex promised they’d changed? That’s what these AI announcements feel like. AWS and Microsoft are competing to see who can spray more AI cologne on their same old products. AWS’s re:Invent conference turned into a confetti cannon of AI buzzwords, and Microsoft, not to be outdone, announced their “12 Days of OpenAI” - because apparently, we needed an AI advent calendar.
Dec. 9, 2024
Look, I just threw up a little reading this article. Not from the whiskey - though that’s not helping - but from the sheer density of corporate buzzwords packed into this steaming pile of consulting-speak. Let me pour another drink and break this down for you beautiful disasters.
You know what keeps me up at night? Besides the usual existential dread and that weird noise my refrigerator makes? It’s articles like this that pretend AI leadership is something more than expensive software wrapped in a $3,000 suit.
Dec. 9, 2024
Another morning, another tech prophecy. I’d normally ignore this nonsense, but my hangover isn’t too bad and there’s still some bourbon left from last night, so let’s dig in.
The latest fairy tale from our favorite digital fortune tellers claims 2025 is the year AI finally earns its keep. You know, like that roommate who keeps promising the rent money is coming next week. They’re calling it the “Agentic Era” - a fancy way of saying robots will do our jobs while we… well, they never quite explain that part.
Dec. 7, 2024
Look, I’ve been staring at this story for three hours now, nursing my fourth bourbon, and I still can’t decide if it’s hilarious or terrifying. Probably both. Here’s the deal: some hotshot Stanford professor who literally makes his living talking about lies and misinformation just got caught using AI to make up fake citations in a legal testimony.
Let that sink in while I pour another drink.
Dr. Jeff Hancock, whose TED talk about lying has apparently hypnotized 1.5 million viewers (more on that depressing statistic later), decided to let ChatGPT help him with his homework. And surprise, surprise - the AI decided to get creative with the truth. The damn thing just made up a bunch of research papers that don’t exist.
Dec. 7, 2024
Look, I get it. Christmas shopping is hell. You’ve got that one relative who already owns everything, that cousin who returns everything, and that sibling who passive-aggressively sighs at whatever you get them. I’m three fingers deep into my morning bourbon just thinking about it.
But here’s where our modern world gets weird - now we’re asking AI to pick out presents for us. According to this heartwarming little story that landed in my inbox between hangovers, some analytics expert named Josie Hughes decided to let ChatGPT play Santa’s helper for her nine-year-old brother. And you know what? The damn thing actually came through.