Tomorrow's tech news, today's hangover.

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They're Zapping the Bots Now, Folks

Scientists are now testing AI systems with virtual "pain" to determine if they might be sentient. This bizarre experiment, inspired by hermit crab studies, raises profound questions about machine consciousness and our relationship with artificial intelligence. Is this groundbreaking research or just anthropomorphizing code?

The Robots Are Coming For Your Presidents

Discover the alarming possibility that AI is ghostwriting presidential executive orders, raising serious questions about who—or what—is really running the country. A satirical yet thought-provoking look at technology's creeping influence on American governance.

AI Thinks Your Kids Are Junkies, Hoodlums, and a Waste of Oxygen

New research reveals AI models consistently portray teenagers in negative, harmful ways, showing bias toward violence and mental illness despite teens' more positive self-perceptions. A sobering look at how our digital tools reflect and amplify society's worst assumptions about young people.

AI: The New Cockfight, and We're All Just Roosters

A sardonic take on the US-China AI competition, examining how both superpowers are locked in a futile technological arms race while ignoring the real dangers of unregulated artificial intelligence development.

OpenAI: From "Saving Humanity" to Sucking Up to Uncle Sam (and Sucking Down All the Juice)

OpenAI's lobbying spending has skyrocketed sevenfold as they pivot from ethical AI promises to pursuing government contracts and subsidized energy. Once champions of responsible technology, they're now requesting massive data centers while their advocacy for anti-deepfake legislation quietly fades away.

Mind Your Manners, Meat-Sacks - Your Robot Roommate Will Thank You

A sardonic take on the growing trend of treating AI with politeness, questioning whether our digital etiquette matters while humanity itself struggles with basic decency. Explores the irony of developing manners for machines while human connections deteriorate in our technology-obsessed world.

Letting AI Pay Rent: A Brain's Gotta Earn Its Keep

A raw, unfiltered take on how AI is colonizing our minds without giving anything valuable in return. Explore the dangers of surrendering our creativity and individuality to digital algorithms that promise help but deliver dependency.

Metal Men and Plastic Pals: The Robotic Apocalypse That Might Not Suck (Completely)

Journey through the unsettling yet fascinating world of humanoid robots, from bartenders to companions for the elderly, and explore what their rise might mean for humanity's future. A sardonic look at our metal counterparts that questions whether the robotic revolution will be our downfall or salvation.

Dotdash Meredith: Special Sauce, Same Old Shit Sandwich

Dotdash Meredith's OpenAI partnership comes at the cost of 143 media jobs while executives tout their "special sauce." A scathing look at how AI deals are reshaping digital publishing and what it means for content quality online.

AI: Are We Screwing Ourselves With Fancy Calculators?

A sobering look at how AI systems, despite their sophistication, remain glorified calculators that perpetuate human biases and create new societal risks. Examines the World Economic Forum's warnings about AI's potential to spread misinformation, erode trust, and make life-altering decisions without true understanding.