OpenAI's Latest Snake Oil: Teaching Teachers How to Teach (Because They Clearly Don't Know How)

Look, I’ve been staring at this press release for three hours now, nursing my fourth bourbon, and I still can’t believe what I’m reading. OpenAI - you know, those folks who brought us ChatGPT and a whole lot of existential dread - now want to teach teachers how to teach. Because apparently, that’s what education needs right now: another tech company mansplaining pedagogy to professionals.

They’ve rolled out this fancy “free” course (first hit’s always free, kids) in partnership with something called Common Sense Media. The irony of that name is so thick you could spread it on toast. Here’s the deal: it’s a one-hour, nine-module program designed to help K-12 teachers incorporate ChatGPT into their classrooms. Because what every underpaid, overworked teacher needs is another tech tool to master between grading papers and breaking up hallway fights.

Meta's AI Plays Mad Scientist: This Time They Might Actually Save Our Drunk Asses

Listen up, you beautiful disasters. I’ve been staring at this press release for three hours through bourbon-tinted glasses, and I think I’ve finally figured out what’s actually happening here. Pour yourself something strong, because this shit is either brilliant or terrifying. Probably both.

Here’s the deal: Meta – yes, that same company that’s trying to convince us to live in a digital playground while the real world burns – is actually doing something useful for once. And trust me, nobody’s more surprised about this than me.

AI Training in Corporate America: The Blind Leading the Drunk

Another night, another survey landing in my inbox between bourbon shots. This one’s from some outfit called Pragmatico, probably named by the same kind of people who call their coffee shop “Beans & Dreams” or their kid “Hydrogen.” But hell, let’s dive into this train wreck because it’s either this or stare at my empty glass wondering where all the whiskey went.

Here’s the deal: everybody’s talking about AI like it’s the second coming of sliced bread, but turns out most corporate bigwigs are about as comfortable with it as I am with sobriety. Only 25% of leaders use AI daily, which is coincidentally the same percentage of my liver that’s still functioning.

Digital Ghosts and Bourbon-Soaked Prophecies: When Dead Leaders Won't Stay Dead

Look, I didn’t want to write this piece. Was perfectly content nursing my hangover with some hair of the dog at O’Malley’s, contemplating the metaphysical implications of last night’s bad decisions. But then this story about AI-powered dead terrorist leaders crossed my desk, and well… here we are.

So apparently, some academic is worried that deceased political figures might keep “living” through AI. Not like zombies - that would be too straightforward. Instead, we’re talking digital immortality, where your favorite dictator keeps tweeting from beyond the grave. Because apparently, regular propaganda wasn’t annoying enough when it came from actual living humans.

Trust, Lies, and PowerPoint Slides: Welcome to 2025's Digital Circus

Look, I’m nursing my third bourbon of the morning while reading through these corporate predictions about trust and AI, and I’ve got to tell you - this reads like a love letter written by a committee of MBAs who’ve never been ghosted on Tinder.

Here’s the deal: nearly half the world’s population is about to vote in national elections. That’s like having the world’s biggest game of musical chairs, except the music is being played by AI algorithms, and some of the chairs are actually digital mirages created by teenagers in basements halfway across the planet.

AI Nudes & School Bureaucrats: Just Another Digital Nightmare

Let me tell you something about bureaucrats - they’re the same everywhere, whether they’re running a Fortune 500 company or a fancy private school in Pennsylvania. They all share that deer-in-headlights look when shit hits the fan, followed by the kind of response that makes a hangover seem rational.

So here’s what went down at Lancaster Country Day School, while I nurse this bourbon and try to make sense of our brave new world. Some kid figured out how to use AI to generate nude pictures of his female classmates. Not one or two - we’re talking about FIFTY victims. Jesus Christ. Back in my day, the worst thing you had to worry about was someone spreading rumors about you behind your back. Now every phone is potentially a weapon of mass humiliation.

A16Z Wants Robot Cops in Vegas (What Could Possibly Go Wrong?)

Look, I wasn’t planning on writing today. My head’s still throbbing from last night’s philosophical debate with a bottle of Buffalo Trace about the meaning of existence. But this story landed in my inbox like a brick through a plate glass window, and even my hangover couldn’t ignore it.

So pour yourself something strong. You’re gonna need it.

Remember when Vegas was just about losing your shirt at the blackjack table and making questionable decisions at 4 AM? Those were simpler times. Now it’s becoming ground zero for Silicon Valley’s latest wet dream: AI-powered law enforcement. And who’s bankrolling this cyberpunk fantasy? None other than Ben Horowitz and the a16z crew, throwing money around like they’re making it rain at the Bellagio.

AI Wants to Play God with DNA: Pass Me Another Bourbon

Look, I’ve been staring at this screen for three hours trying to process this news without reaching for the bottle. Failed miserably. So here I am, four fingers of Buffalo Trace deep, attempting to explain how artificial intelligence is now playing Dr. Frankenstein with the building blocks of life itself.

They’re calling it “Evo,” which sounds like a nightclub where programmers go to pretend they can dance. But this isn’t your regular ChatGPT spewing Shakespeare sonnets or helping teenagers cheat on their homework. No, this bad boy is designed to write actual genetic code. You know, the stuff that makes you you, and me this gloriously flawed meat puppet typing away at 2 AM.

Billionaire Death Match: The Fight Over Who Gets to Be Our Robot Overlord

Look, I should be passed out right now after finishing that bottle of Wild Turkey, but these leaked OpenAI emails got me sitting up at 3 AM, chain-smoking Camels and laughing my ass off. Pour yourself something strong – you’re gonna need it.

Remember back in 2017 when everyone was worried about AI stealing their jobs? Turns out the real drama was happening behind closed doors, with tech billionaires fighting over who gets to play God. These newly leaked emails from the Musk vs. Altman lawsuit read like a soap opera written by a bunch of megalomaniacs with god complexes.

The Digital Ouroboros: When AI Starts Eating Its Own Bullshit

Listen, I’ve been staring at this bottle of Jim Beam for the past hour trying to wrap my head around this latest piece of tech journalism that crossed my desk. The whole thing reads like a bad acid trip, but here’s the deal: apparently, AI is now part of our “collective intelligence.” Yeah, you heard that right. The machines aren’t just learning from us anymore - they’re teaching us back, and we’re all stuck in some kind of digital circle jerk that would make Nietzsche reach for the hard stuff.