Digital Twins and Cheap Whiskey: Your AI Clone is Already Failing Its Sobriety Test

Look, I wasn’t planning on writing today. My head’s still pounding from last night’s philosophical debate with a bottle of Maker’s Mark about the nature of consciousness. But then this gem lands in my inbox: Stanford researchers are creating AI replicas of real people. For science, they say. For a hundred bucks a pop.

Let that sink in while I pour myself a morning stabilizer.

Here’s the deal: some PhD student named Joon Sung Park (who I’m betting has never had to explain to his landlord why the rent’s late) recruited 1,000 people to create their digital doubles. The pitch? “Imagine having a bunch of small ‘yous’ running around making decisions.” Yeah, because one of me making decisions isn’t already causing enough trouble.

AI Hiring Bots: Your Next Job Interview Might Be With a Drunk Robot

Listen, I know it’s only 10 AM, but I’m already three fingers deep into my bourbon because this story needs it. LinkedIn - yeah, that cesspool of “thought leaders” and corporate poetry - just announced they’re letting AI handle job recruiting. Because apparently, the hiring process wasn’t dehumanizing enough already.

Let me paint you a picture while I light another cigarette: You’re sitting there in your best shirt, the one without the whiskey stains, ready for your job interview. But instead of Karen from HR asking about your “biggest weakness,” you’re chatting with HAL 9000’s peppy younger cousin who’s been trained on every HR manual ever written.

AI Ruins Christmas, Just Like My Ex-Wife Did (But At Least She Was Human)

Christ, my head hurts. It’s 4 AM, and I’m staring at my laptop screen through bourbon-tinted glasses, trying to make sense of Coca-Cola’s latest crime against Christmas. Pour yourself a drink. You’re gonna need it.

Remember when holiday commercials were made by actual humans? You know, those creative types who’d chain-smoke their way through brainstorming sessions and emerge with something that made you feel things? Well, welcome to 2024, where Coke decided to let AI play Santa’s little helper.

Learn More or Die Trying: Your Worthless Degree Just Got More Worthless

Listen up, you hungover masses. I’m writing this at 4 AM with a bottle of Kentucky’s finest keeping me company, because that’s when the best revelations hit - right between the bourbon and the sunrise.

Some Norwegian AI expert just dropped a truth bomb that’s got me reaching for the good stuff: apparently, we’re all too stupid to survive the future. And you know what? She might be onto something.

"Oops, We Lost Your Evidence" - When AI Companies Play Digital Hide and Seek

Look, I didn’t want to write this piece. I was perfectly content nursing my third bourbon of the morning, contemplating the metaphysical implications of my latest hangover. But then this gem landed in my inbox, and well… here we are.

OpenAI, those wonderful folks who brought us ChatGPT and a whole new way to plagiarize college essays, just pulled what might be the most expensive “dog ate my homework” excuse in recent memory. They managed to delete crucial evidence in their ongoing legal battle with the New York Times and Daily News. And not just any evidence - we’re talking about the very data that might prove whether they’ve been stealing content like a drunk guy at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

OpenAI's Latest Snake Oil: Teaching Teachers How to Teach (Because They Clearly Don't Know How)

Look, I’ve been staring at this press release for three hours now, nursing my fourth bourbon, and I still can’t believe what I’m reading. OpenAI - you know, those folks who brought us ChatGPT and a whole lot of existential dread - now want to teach teachers how to teach. Because apparently, that’s what education needs right now: another tech company mansplaining pedagogy to professionals.

They’ve rolled out this fancy “free” course (first hit’s always free, kids) in partnership with something called Common Sense Media. The irony of that name is so thick you could spread it on toast. Here’s the deal: it’s a one-hour, nine-module program designed to help K-12 teachers incorporate ChatGPT into their classrooms. Because what every underpaid, overworked teacher needs is another tech tool to master between grading papers and breaking up hallway fights.

Meta's AI Plays Mad Scientist: This Time They Might Actually Save Our Drunk Asses

Listen up, you beautiful disasters. I’ve been staring at this press release for three hours through bourbon-tinted glasses, and I think I’ve finally figured out what’s actually happening here. Pour yourself something strong, because this shit is either brilliant or terrifying. Probably both.

Here’s the deal: Meta – yes, that same company that’s trying to convince us to live in a digital playground while the real world burns – is actually doing something useful for once. And trust me, nobody’s more surprised about this than me.

AI Training in Corporate America: The Blind Leading the Drunk

Another night, another survey landing in my inbox between bourbon shots. This one’s from some outfit called Pragmatico, probably named by the same kind of people who call their coffee shop “Beans & Dreams” or their kid “Hydrogen.” But hell, let’s dive into this train wreck because it’s either this or stare at my empty glass wondering where all the whiskey went.

Here’s the deal: everybody’s talking about AI like it’s the second coming of sliced bread, but turns out most corporate bigwigs are about as comfortable with it as I am with sobriety. Only 25% of leaders use AI daily, which is coincidentally the same percentage of my liver that’s still functioning.

Digital Ghosts and Bourbon-Soaked Prophecies: When Dead Leaders Won't Stay Dead

Look, I didn’t want to write this piece. Was perfectly content nursing my hangover with some hair of the dog at O’Malley’s, contemplating the metaphysical implications of last night’s bad decisions. But then this story about AI-powered dead terrorist leaders crossed my desk, and well… here we are.

So apparently, some academic is worried that deceased political figures might keep “living” through AI. Not like zombies - that would be too straightforward. Instead, we’re talking digital immortality, where your favorite dictator keeps tweeting from beyond the grave. Because apparently, regular propaganda wasn’t annoying enough when it came from actual living humans.

Trust, Lies, and PowerPoint Slides: Welcome to 2025's Digital Circus

Look, I’m nursing my third bourbon of the morning while reading through these corporate predictions about trust and AI, and I’ve got to tell you - this reads like a love letter written by a committee of MBAs who’ve never been ghosted on Tinder.

Here’s the deal: nearly half the world’s population is about to vote in national elections. That’s like having the world’s biggest game of musical chairs, except the music is being played by AI algorithms, and some of the chairs are actually digital mirages created by teenagers in basements halfway across the planet.