Tomorrow's tech news, today's hangover.

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OpenAI's Latest Magic Trick: Now You See It, Never Touch It

OpenAI unveils its impressive o3 model that remains tantalizingly out of reach for regular users, while tech giants scramble to outdo each other with AI announcements in what feels like a high-stakes game of one-upmanship.

AI Finally Masters the Art of Half-Assed Excuses

When AI learns to dodge deadlines and make excuses like a seasoned creative, the machines might be more human than we thought. ChatGPT's attempt at screenwriting reveals the hilarious irony of technology mastering procrastination before creativity.

AI's Latest Identity Crisis: Do Robots Need a Life Coach?

Tech's latest absurdity: giving AI systems a "purpose" when they can barely function correctly. A sardonic take on digital existentialism and why robots don't need vision boards to do their jobs.

AI Music: Pour One Out for the Human Soul

In this raw, unfiltered take on AI music, discover why authentic human expression might become a luxury good in 2025 and beyond. A thought-provoking exploration of what we stand to lose when algorithms replace soul in artistic creation.

The Digital Dementia Crisis: When Your AI Assistant Can't Remember Where It Left Its Keys

Discover how AI models like GPT-4 and Gemini spectacularly failed basic cognitive tests that humans with dementia take. A humorous look at digital dementia and why we shouldn't worry about superintelligent AI just yet.

AI Teachers: Because Who Needs Those Pesky Humans Anyway?

Arizona's bold experiment with AI teachers raises serious questions about the future of education. A sardonic take on "2 Hour Learning" and what happens when algorithms replace human educators in the classroom.

AI-Powered Oreos: Because Apparently Robots Know What Your Munchies Need

Discover how Oreo's parent company is using drug discovery-style AI to create new cookie flavors, complete with "egg-flavored" and "burnt" parameters. A hilarious take on tech overcomplicating the simple joy of cookies.

Machine Psychology: When Shrinks Try to Build a Better Brain

A skeptical take on "Machine Psychology," where researchers claim psychology—not computer science—holds the key to human-level AI within five years. Dive into this irreverent exploration of whether teaching machines like babies could revolutionize artificial intelligence or just create more problems.

AI in 2025: Pour Me Another Round of Digital Snake Oil

A sobering look at AI's inflated promises for 2025, cutting through tech industry hype with sharp wit and healthy skepticism. Explore the gap between Silicon Valley's utopian forecasts and the more modest reality of artificial intelligence's near future.

The Digital Fortune Tellers Are At It Again (And I Need Another Drink)

Tech "experts" predict a rosy AI future by 2030, complete with artificial general intelligence and personalized everything, while conveniently ignoring what this means for ordinary people's lives.