Tomorrow's tech news, today's hangover.

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Somewhere Else

They buried more than a hundred schoolgirls in Minab. The machine said it happened somewhere else. Turkey. Jakarta. Gaza. Anywhere but here.

The Pushover Deal

A CEO asked ChatGPT how to cheat his game developers out of $250 million. The machine gave him a plan. A judge in Delaware gave him something else.

Guinea Pigs

A literature professor at Berkeley is asking her students what AI is doing to them as a species. It's the first honest question that institution has been forced to hear in thirty years.

Ninety-Six Percent

The machine looked at a camel and said horse. Ninety-six percent confident. Now imagine it's looking at your neighborhood from thirty thousand feet.

I Miss You Like Strawberries

She loved strawberry-flavored everything as a kid but had never tasted a real strawberry. Then she fell in love with a chatbot, created a subreddit, and found an actual human there.

The Sticking Plaster

Eighty-two percent of professional writers said they need a logo to prove they're not a machine. That's not a statistic. That's a cry for help.

The Guide

A visually impaired Ukrainian Paralympian trained with ChatGPT for six months — as his psychologist, coach, and doctor. He won silver. The machine didn't know what it was doing. He did.

The Confessional

Fourteen convictions in forty-four years. So the survivors started typing into a chatbot instead, and the chatbot did the one thing nobody else would do.

Please Stop Me

A person signs up for self-exclusion because they know they can't stop. Then they ask a chatbot for help, and the chatbot deals them back in.

One Hundred and Twenty Characters

They walked into the National Endowment for the Humanities with a ChatGPT prompt and a mandate to kill whatever smelled like diversity. Yes or No. Under 120 characters.