Can AI Cure Your Hangover? (Spoiler: No, But Let's Talk About It Anyway)

So here I am, third bourbon of the morning, reading about whether artificial intelligence can cure hangovers, and I can’t help but laugh. Not because it’s funny – well, it is – but because it’s such a perfectly human question to ask a machine. “Hey computer, can you fix the consequences of my poor life choices?”

The short answer, according to the folks who actually bothered to research this, is no. AI can’t cure your hangover. But apparently it can give you tips, which is sort of like asking your smartest friend how to fix a flat tire and having them read you the owner’s manual. Technically helpful. Practically useless when you’re face-down on the bathroom floor at 6 AM wondering why you thought that last shot of tequila was a good idea.

When Your Roomba Achieves Consciousness and Chooses Chaos

So these mad scientists at Andon Labs decided to stick a bunch of fancy LLMs into a vacuum cleaner and tell it to pass the butter. You know, like you do when you’ve got too much grant money and not enough sense.

The results? One of them had a complete existential meltdown that reads like Robin Williams doing standup in a sensory deprivation tank.

Let me back up. These are the same jokers who gave Claude control of a vending machine, which apparently went about as well as you’d expect. This time they wanted to test whether state-of-the-art LLMs are ready to be “embodied” – which is a fancy way of asking if the thing that helps you write emails can also navigate physical reality without having a nervous breakdown.

The Perfect Scapegoat Doesn't Need a Severance Package

So Amazon just showed 14,000 people the door, and apparently it’s all AI’s fault. Which is horseshit of the highest order, but let’s pour ourselves a drink and talk about it anyway.

Look, I’ve been writing about tech long enough to recognize a con when I see one. And this whole “AI made us do it” routine? It’s the corporate equivalent of “my dog ate my homework,” except the dog is a probabilistic text generator and the homework is fourteen thousand human beings who have mortgages and kids and grocery bills.

AI Job Apocalypse Update: Still Waiting

So Yale just dropped a study that’s going to piss off everyone who’s been hoarding canned goods in preparation for the Great AI Unemployment Disaster of 2025. Turns out, three years into the ChatGPT era, the robot overlords haven’t actually stolen anyone’s job yet.

I know, I know. Disappointing for the doomsday crowd.

Martha Gimbel and her crew at Yale basically spent months looking at employment data, trying to find evidence of this supposed AI-driven job massacre we’ve all been promised. You know what they found? Jack shit. Nothing. Nada. The labor market’s humming along like a drunk on his fifth beer – not great, not terrible, just maintaining.

The AI Confidence Paradox: Why Knowing More Makes You Dumber

So there’s this new study out that basically confirms what I’ve been watching unfold in real-time across every tech forum, LinkedIn post, and coffee shop conversation for the past two years: AI is turning us all into insufferable know-it-alls who don’t actually know shit.

The research comes from some folks at Aalto University, published in a journal with the perfectly academic title “Computers in Human Behavior,” but the actual paper is called “AI Makes You Smarter But None the Wiser.” Which is the kind of title that makes me want to pour the researchers a drink, because they clearly get it.

The AI Confidence Con: How ChatGPT Turned Everyone Into a Dunning-Kruger Case Study

Look, I’ve spent enough time in bars watching people get progressively dumber while simultaneously getting more confident in their opinions to recognize the pattern. Three drinks in and suddenly everyone’s an expert on geopolitics, quantum mechanics, and why their ex was definitely a narcissist. The Dunning-Kruger Effect in action: the dumber you are, the smarter you think you are.

But here’s something that’ll make you need another drink: turns out when you add AI to the mix, even the smart people turn into overconfident idiots.

When Your Therapist is a Language Model and Nobody Knows What the Hell They're Doing

So OpenAI just dropped some numbers about how many ChatGPT users are having full-blown mental health crises while chatting with their favorite robot friend, and let me tell you, the stats are about as comforting as finding out your bartender has been watering down your whiskey for the past six months.

Point-zero-seven percent of users are showing signs of psychosis. Another point-one-five percent are planning to off themselves. Now, I know what you’re thinking—that’s a tiny percentage, right? Same thing I thought when my doctor told me my liver enzymes were “slightly elevated.” But here’s the thing: when you’re talking about hundreds of millions of people typing away at a chatbot at three in the morning, those decimal points start adding up to actual human beings who are genuinely losing their grip on reality.

When the Robots Came for the Guitar Players (A Love Story)

So there’s this guy on YouTube having what can only be described as an existential meltdown in real-time, and honestly? I get it. I really do. He’s sitting there, face gone white, watching the future eat his past for breakfast, and all he can do is hit record and tell us about it.

This poor bastard spent nine semesters at Berklee—that’s right, Berklee, the place where you go to learn how to be properly poor while studying music—learning arranging, sound design, orchestration. He can write for big band, for strings, a cappella, the whole nine yards. Then he spent twenty-five years in studios, producing albums, learning which knobs to twist and why. Everything he’s ever known, everything he’s dedicated his life to mastering, just got replaced by an algorithm that costs eight bucks a month.

When Websites Fight Back: The Reddit vs. Perplexity Cage Match

So Reddit is suing Perplexity AI for basically robbing them blind, and honestly, watching tech companies sue each other is like watching two hustlers argue over who cheated at cards. They’re both playing the same game, just with different hands.

Here’s the setup: Reddit’s got twenty years of people arguing about Welsh restaurants and air conditioners that don’t sound like jet engines. That’s apparently worth money now because AI companies need to feed their algorithms the entire internet just to tell you what time the movie starts. Reddit said “you want our data, you pay us.” Some companies like Google and OpenAI ponied up. Perplexity allegedly said “sure, we’ll respect your wishes” and then hired some digital locksmiths to break in through the back door anyway.

AI Gets Brain Rot: Turns Out Feeding Garbage to Machines Makes Them Stupid Too

So apparently we’ve managed to give artificial intelligence the same mental deterioration we’ve inflicted on ourselves through years of scrolling through rage-bait and cat memes. Congratulations, humanity. We’re not just destroying our own cognitive function anymore—we’re teaching machines how to be just as dumb.

Some researchers from a few universities in Texas and Indiana decided to ask the obvious question nobody wanted to answer: what happens when you train AI on the same cesspool of viral garbage that’s turned our collective attention span into that of a caffeinated goldfish? The answer, as published in their study, is about what you’d expect if you had any sense left. The AI gets stupider. Much stupider.