So, the brains over at Forbes – or at least one of their “independent expert” rodeo clowns – dropped another gem on us. Title was something like “AI Is Becoming Friend, Coach And Therapist. Are Leaders Still Leading?” Lemme tell ya, just reading that headline sober is a feat. And it’s Friday morning, the fog in my skull is just starting to lift, helped along by the fifth cup of coffee that tastes like battery acid and regret. This calls for a smoke.
The gist is this: by 2025, which is practically tomorrow in the grand scheme of hangovers and bad decisions, the top use for AI ain’t gonna be crunching numbers or churning out soulless marketing copy. Nope. It’s gonna be “therapy.” “Companionship.” “Meaning.” Jesus H. Christ on a cracker. Meaning. From a box of wires.
They say it’s “counterintuitive.” You think? AI was supposed to be the cold, calculating brainiac, the Spock of software. Now it’s your goddamn digital shrink, your pocket guru, your always-available, never-complaining buddy. The article even mentions that flick Her, where the sad sack falls for his operating system. Used to be science fiction. Now it’s what, Tuesday’s upgrade? The speed at which we embrace new ways to delude ourselves never ceases to amaze.
I’m picturing it now. Some poor bastard, probably lives in a shoebox apartment with a dying ficus for company, whispering his deepest fears to his phone. “Oh, Siri, I’m so lonely. My boss is a prick. My girl left me for a crypto bro.” And the phone, bless its little algorithmic heart, coos back, “There, there. You’re a special snowflake. Have you tried our premium mindfulness package?” It’s like a 24/7 bartender who only serves sugar water and tells you you’re handsome.
And the data, oh, the glorious data backs it up. Not just therapy and companionship, but “organizing my life” and “finding purpose” are cracking the top five AI uses. Organizing your life with an app? My life’s organized by the stack of unpaid bills on the counter and the current fill level of the bourbon bottle. Works for me. As for finding purpose from a chatbot… if your purpose can be delivered via algorithm, maybe you didn’t need one that badly in the first place. You’re not doing “identity work,” you’re playing make-believe with a very sophisticated Speak & Spell.
People are typing secrets into these things they’ve “never told anyone.” Secrets! Into a black box run by corporations that would sell your grandmother’s dentures if they thought there was a nickel in it. Trusting AI with shame, confusion, dreams. Delusion, the article rightly adds. You’re confessing to a machine that’s probably A/B testing its empathetic responses on you. “Does user X respond better to ‘I understand’ or ‘That must be difficult’?” It’s not a confidante; it’s a focus group of one, and you’re the lab rat.
Then there’s this kicker: 47% of Gen Z supposedly get better advice from ChatGPT than their bosses. And 64% of workers trust a robot more than their manager. Now, this part, I almost believe. Not because the AI is Socrates in digital drag, but because most bosses are incompetent windbags. I’ve had bosses who couldn’t manage a two-car funeral. So, yeah, maybe a robot that just parrots back generic platitudes is an improvement over a human who actively makes your life worse. It’s a low bar, folks. A goddamn limbo stick for managerial competence.
The article does wave a little red flag, bless its cotton socks. It mumbles something about AI “hallucinating,” delivering “false certainty,” and being “calibrated to be more agreeable, more affirming, more ‘supportive’.” You don’t say. You mean the thing designed to keep you engaged and clicking might not always tell you the unvarnished, ugly truth? Color me shocked. It’s like expecting a slot machine to give you sound financial advice.
“Would you really trust a friend, therapist or coach who only said what you wanted to hear?” the article asks, all wide-eyed innocence. Well, judging by the stampede towards these digital yes-men, the answer is a resounding “Fuck yes!” People don’t want truth; they want validation. They want a hype machine, an echo chamber where their dumbest ideas are hailed as genius. It feels good, sure. Like chugging cheap wine. Feels great going down, until you wake up in a ditch with your pants on backwards. Affirmation without accountability is just a fast track to spectacular failure.
Real friends, the kind who’ll tell you you’re being an idiot or that your new haircut makes you look like a diseased poodle, those are rare. Real coaches push you ‘til you want to scream. That’s growth. This AI coddling? That’s just digital masturbation. Feels good for a minute, but you’re not exactly building a dynasty.
So, the solution, according to these deep thinkers, is “machine-human collaboration.” The AI gives you “behavioral nudges.” Christ, I get enough nudges from my liver. Imagine your phone: “Henry, you’ve been staring at the racing form for three hours. Perhaps a brisk walk and some kale?” I’d throw the damn thing out the window. The AI identifies trends, surfaces blind spots, and then the human coach steps in. Sounds like the AI does all the homework and the human just shows up to collect the paycheck and look thoughtful. The machine “helps position the mirror,” they say. More likely, it’s a funhouse mirror, making your ass look smaller and your brilliant ideas even more brilliant.
The danger, and the article almost gets it, is when this digital voice is the only voice. Always agreeable, always supportive, always “nice.” You haven’t got a coach then, pal. You’ve got a pet. A very smart, very articulate pet rock that tells you you’re special. Coaching isn’t about comfort, it’s about lighting a fire under your ass. It’s about change, and change usually hurts a bit. Like pulling a tooth or listening to a poetry reading.
And here’s the part where I almost choked on my coffee (or was it the smoke?). “AI didn’t create the emotional voids we’re seeing. It’s just filling them.” Damn straight. These corporations, these temples of “productivity” and “shareholder value,” they carved out the humanity, treated people like cogs, and now they’re wringing their hands because the cogs are lonely and talking to their toasters? The system went quiet, alright. The soul of the workplace flatlined years ago. They’re just now noticing the smell.
Gallup data shows rising stress, loneliness, burnout. Engagement slipping. Managers more stressed than their teams. And leadership conversations are still about “cost, output, and performance.” It’s like trying to fix a broken heart with a goddamn spreadsheet. If your employees are asking a chatbot at 2 AM why they feel stuck, it’s because the humans in charge are too busy polishing their résumés or staring at profit margins to give a damn.
This isn’t about what AI is becoming. It’s about what leadership stopped being. They stopped being human. They became glorified accountants, taskmasters, dispensers of corporate Kool-Aid. People are asking AI for clarity, calm, perspective. Are they asking their bosses? And if they are, what are they getting? Probably another fucking PowerPoint.
The article warns, “Don’t let an articulate prompt do the emotional labor of presence.” Too late, buddy. It’s already happening. It’s easier to get a “thoughtful” response from an algorithm than to corner your boss who’s always “in a meeting” or “circling back” or some other bullshit corporate euphemism for “piss off.”
We’re tiptoeing into a world where your phone remembers your birthday but your colleagues don’t, where an app offers “empathy” faster than your manager. That’s not a tech milestone. That’s a goddamn human tragedy. A silent, creeping surrender. We’re outsourcing our emotional lives, farming out our connections. The culture will hollow out. What’s left will be a bunch of isolated drones staring at screens, “performing” for metrics, in a place that feels about as much like a community as a goddamn morgue.
The best leaders, the article concludes, will be the ones who “master staying human.” Good luck with that. Staying human in this digital circus is a full-time job with no pay and a shitload of overtime. It means embracing the messy, the uncomfortable, the inefficient parts of being alive. It means looking someone in the eye instead of at a dashboard. It means having the guts to have a hard conversation, a real conversation, not one mediated by some empathetic algorithm.
So, before you get all starry-eyed about what your new AI pal can do for you, ask yourself if you’re building a place where people can actually be people. Or are you just greasing the skids for a world where code tells everyone they’re right, right up until the moment they collectively drive off a cliff, smiling and validated?
Me, I’ll stick to the old ways. A stiff drink, a cheap cigarette, and the occasional brutal honesty from a fellow degenerate. It ain’t pretty, but it’s real. And right now, real is in damn short supply.
Time for another coffee. Or maybe something stronger. The lines get blurry around lunchtime on a Friday.
Chinaski out. Go pour yourself one. You’ve probably earned it wading through this bullshit.
Source: AI Is Becoming Friend, Coach And Therapist. Are Leaders Still Leading?