The Machines Think We're Hacks (And Maybe They're Right)

Alright, Thursday afternoon. Sun’s trying to stab its way through the blinds, same way this headache’s trying to split my skull. Perfect time to pour a little something brown into a glass – strictly medicinal, you understand – and contemplate the latest absurdity coughed up by the digital dream machine.

Got this piece slid across my virtual desk, something about AI now being so goddamn smart, it thinks good writing must be churned out by a machine. Yeah, you heard that right. Some poor bastard writing for Forbes ran his own articles through a few of these AI judges – Gemini, ChatGPT, Claude, the usual suspects lined up for inspection. And guess what? Gemini, mostly, took one look at his well-structured, data-backed, clearly argued prose and said, “Nah, too clean. Too… competent. Must be AI.”

The Cookie Crumbles: AI, Bias, and the Illusion of Fairness

Alright, pour yourself a stiff one, because we’re diving headfirst into the digital sewer. This NYU News piece, “Navigating trust in an age of increasing AI influence,” – catchy, right? Sounds like something a marketing robot coughed up after too many lines of binary code – it’s got me reaching for another glass of bourbon, and it’s only, what, mid-afternoon on a Wednesday?

The gist of it is this: AI is everywhere, it’s biased as hell, and we’re all supposed to just… trust it? Coca-Cola’s using it to hawk sugary swill, German political parties are crafting fantasy worlds with it, and the Los Angeles Times tried to build a “bias meter” that ended up sounding like a Klansman’s PR flack. It’s a goddamn circus, and we, my friends, are the clowns.

The AGI Wet Dream: Perfection, My Ass

So, some Forbes contributor – probably never had a real job in their life – is yapping about AGI and how everyone’s got it wrong. They’re saying the whole “perfect intelligence” thing is a load of bull. And you know what? For once, I think one of these overpaid think-piece jockeys might have stumbled onto something resembling a truth, probably while tripping over their own shoelaces.

The gist of it, as I slurped down my third bourbon of the early afternoon (hey, it’s research), is that this whole idea of Artificial General Intelligence being some kind of flawless, Spock-like logic machine is pure fantasy. We’re talking about building a brain, a digital one, sure, but a brain nonetheless. And brains, as anyone who’s ever woken up next to a stranger with a questionable tattoo can attest, are messy.

Woke Up, Smoked Up, So Now AI's All Choked Up?

Another Saturday morning, another goddamn headache. Or is it still morning? Sun’s up, birds are chirping, and my liver’s screaming for a Bloody Mary. But screw it, hair of the dog, and all that. Let’s get to the bottom of this mess.

So, Trump’s back in the White House, huh? And his first order of business is to ban “woke AI.” Because apparently, our robot overlords were getting a little too uppity with their social justice lectures. I guess the tin cans were starting to sound a bit too much like those college kids with the purple hair and the pronouns.

AI Thinks Your Kids Are Junkies, Hoodlums, and a Waste of Oxygen

Alright, you pixel-pushing, data-drunk degenerates, gather ‘round. It’s Wednesday morning, I’ve got a half-empty bottle of Old Crow on the desk, and my head feels like a bunch of orcs are using it for a soccer ball. But, like a goddamn digital salmon swimming upstream, I’m here to deliver the tech gospel.

So, some eggheads over at the University of Washington decided to poke the digital bear, namely those fancy AI language models we keep hearing about. They fed these things some sentences about teenagers, you know, those moody, phone-addicted creatures that supposedly represent our future.

AI: Are We Screwing Ourselves With Fancy Calculators?

So, it’s Sunday afternoon, and I’m nursing a glass of something strong enough to strip paint, staring at this World Economic Forum report on AI risks. Funny, “World Economic Forum” sounds like the kind of place where they serve drinks in glasses that cost more than my rent, but I digress. Anyway, these suits are finally waking up to what I’ve been saying for years: AI ain’t all sunshine and robot butlers.