Dotdash Meredith: Special Sauce, Same Old Shit Sandwich

Alright, you goddamn code-monkeys and pixel-pushers, gather ‘round the digital dumpster fire. It’s Sunday afternoon, my head feels like a dropped server rack, and the only thing keeping me going is the faint hope that I can warn at least one of you before the AI overlords turn us all into data points in their quest for world domination. Or, you know, ad revenue.

So, picture this: Dotdash Meredith, these media big shots who own everything from People to Better Homes & Gardens, decide they’re gonna hop into bed with OpenAI. Yeah, the ChatGPT folks. They call it a “strategic partnership.” I call it a goddamn fire sale on human talent. And here’s the punchline: they lay off 143 people. Because, who needs actual writers and editors when you’ve got a soulless algorithm that can churn out content faster than a chain smoker goes through a pack of Luckies?

College Degrees, AI Overlords, and the Slow Death of the Cubicle Rat

Alright, you data-drunk degenerates, pull up a stool and let’s talk about the end of the world as we know it. Or at least, the end of the world as those college brochures promised it. Seems like our robot overlords are finally getting their act together, and it’s not looking good for those of us who thought a fancy piece of paper was a ticket to the good life.

Some egghead over at some publication I’ve probably been banned from for sending drunken late-night emails to the editor is going on about how “Agentic AI Requires A New Approach To College Planning.” You don’t say. Like we needed another reason to question those student loans.

The Great Digital Profit Heist: How AI's Money Train Left Without Us

Listen, you beautiful disasters. It’s 2:47 AM, I’m four fingers of bourbon deep, and we need to talk about money. Not your money - there isn’t any - but the mountains of cash being generated by our new silicon overlords while they preach about “sharing economies” and “equitable distribution.”

Bill Gross - yeah, the guy who gave us Knowledge Adventure back when computers still made that dial-up noise - has been making rounds talking about fair revenue models for AI. And boy, isn’t that just perfect timing? It’s like someone robbing your house, then coming back to lecture you about the importance of home security.

OpenAI's American Fairy Tale: Teaching Robots to Change Your Kids' Diapers

Look, I’ve been staring at this “Economic Blueprint” from OpenAI for the past three hours, nursing my fourth bourbon, and I gotta tell you - these guys make my neighborhood fortune teller look like a pessimist. They’re out here promising to revolutionize American education faster than I can find my car keys in the morning.

Here’s the deal: OpenAI just dropped their master plan for turning American education into some kind of digital wonderland, conveniently timed with Trump’s potential comeback tour. Because nothing says “trust us with your kids’ future” like launching your grand vision during peak political chaos, right?

AI Career Coach: Because Your Local Bartender Isn't Professional Enough

Listen up, you desperate souls clutching your resumes like lottery tickets. Google’s got a new trick up its sleeve, and this time they’re coming for the career counselors. Not content with replacing taxi drivers and customer service reps, they’ve now decided that what the world really needs is an AI that pretends to be two people talking about how great you are.

I’m nursing my third coffee of the morning while trying to wrap my bourbon-addled brain around this latest piece of digital wizardry called NotebookLM. The premise is simple enough: feed it your resume, cover letter, and whatever corporate propaganda you can find about your dream company, and it spits out a podcast where two AI voices circle-jerk about your career prospects.

Corporate Dystopia 2025: Gen Z's Great American Nightmare

Let me tell you something about these kids today, and I’m writing this through the haze of what might be my fourth bourbon of the morning. They’re getting screwed harder than I did during my divorce, and that’s saying something.

Some fancy-pants research just landed on my desk (actually it landed in my inbox, but I printed it out because I still don’t trust screens after midnight) about Generation Z and their workplace troubles. And boy, what a steaming pile of corporate disappointment it is.

Digital Desk Jockeys: Your New Robot Overlords Have Arrived

Listen, you beautiful disasters. I’ve been staring at this article about AI agents for three hours now, through the bottom of various bourbon glasses, and I think I finally figured out what’s keeping the venture capital crowd up at night besides their usual cocaine habits.

They’re calling them “AI agents” - basically ChatGPT with a LinkedIn profile and a can-do attitude. OpenAI’s CFO (who probably makes more money in a day than I see in a year) says it’s like having a digital assistant that doesn’t just follow orders but “learns, adapts, and takes meaningful actions.” Yeah, and my local bartender Joe also learns, adapts, and takes meaningful actions, but you don’t see anyone throwing billions at him.

The Corporate Lemmings Are Jumping Off the AI Cliff (And Taking Your Money With Them)

Hell of a morning. My head’s pounding from last night’s bourbon festival (aka Tuesday), but these new AI numbers from McKinsey just sobered me right up. Grab your coffee, folks - or whatever gets you through the morning - because this is gonna be a wild ride.

So here’s the deal: 72% of companies are now diving headfirst into AI. That’s up from 50% last year, which means either everyone got collectively smarter overnight (unlikely), or we’re watching the greatest game of corporate FOMO since cryptocurrency. And we all remember how that turned out, don’t we?

Death's Digital Fortune Tellers: Your Expiration Date, Served with a Side of BS

Listen, you beautiful disasters. I just crawled out of bed at 3 PM, fighting what feels like my millionth hangover this year, to tell you about the latest scam making rounds in our brave new digital world. Apparently, some genius decided we need apps that tell us exactly when we’re going to kick the bucket. Because your iPhone needed one more way to give you anxiety, right?

Let me pour myself a bourbon before we dive into this cesspool of algorithmic prophecy.

The Great Digital Glutton: AI's All-You-Can-Eat Buffet of Everything

Look, I’m nursing my third bourbon of the morning – doctor’s orders for reading Bloomberg reports – and trying to wrap my head around how much stuff these AI systems want to gobble up. Remember when being hungry meant hitting the 24-hour diner at 3 AM? Now we’ve got artificial brains demanding more resources than my ex-wives combined.

Bloomberg’s Lynn Doan just dropped a piece that reads like a shopping list written by a megalomaniac robot. And boy, does it want everything. Water, power, chips, real estate – it’s like watching a trust fund kid loose in Vegas with daddy’s credit card.

The Great Academic Witch Hunt: How AI Detectors Are Turning Universities Into Digital Salem

I’m nursing the mother of all hangovers this morning, which seems appropriate given the dystopian nightmare I’m about to share with you. Pour yourself something strong - you’re gonna need it.

Remember when the worst thing that could happen in college was getting caught passing notes or having your roommate walk in at an awkward moment? Those were the good old days, friends. Now we’ve got AI detection software acting like some digital Spanish Inquisition, with professors playing amateur detective and students ratting each other out like it’s 1984 with a WiFi connection.

AI Agents: Your Digital Butler Wants to Fire You (And I Need Another Drink)

Listen, I wouldn’t normally be conscious at 8 AM, but my neighbor’s cat decided to host what sounded like the feline version of Woodstock on my fire escape. So here I am, nursing a bourbon (hey, it’s 5 PM somewhere) and reading about how AI “agents” are going to revolutionize our lives in 2025.

The suits at Reuters NEXT have been making predictions again. You know the type - people who think a $500 bottle of wine tastes better than my $7 whiskey. And boy, do they have some stories to tell.

The Great AI Circle Jerk of 2023: Notes from a Hungover Observer

Another day, another tech summit where the brightest minds gather to tell us how they’re going to save humanity through PowerPoint presentations and canapés. This time it’s the DealBook Summit, where ten of our future overlords’ best friends gathered to discuss how AI is going to solve everything from cancer to my mounting bar tab.

Let me pour myself a bourbon before we dive into this mess.

Seven out of ten experts raised their hands when asked if super-smart AI would exist by 2030. You know what else seven out of ten experts agree on? That I should probably cut back on the drinking. Both predictions are equally likely to come true.

The Corporate AI Ethics Circus: Another Round of Pretending to Care

Look, it’s 11 AM and I’m already three fingers deep into my bourbon because some PR flack sent me another press release about AI ethics. These sunny-side-up predictions about how businesses will handle AI in 2025 are giving me acid reflux. Or maybe that’s just last night’s terrible decisions coming back to haunt me.

Here’s the deal - corporations are suddenly acting like they’ve discovered ethics, like a drunk who finds Jesus after waking up in a dumpster. They’re all clutching their pearls about AI safety while racing to build bigger, badder algorithms that’ll make them richer than God.

AI Leadership: Your New Digital Babysitter Has Arrived

Look, I just threw up a little reading this article. Not from the whiskey - though that’s not helping - but from the sheer density of corporate buzzwords packed into this steaming pile of consulting-speak. Let me pour another drink and break this down for you beautiful disasters.

You know what keeps me up at night? Besides the usual existential dread and that weird noise my refrigerator makes? It’s articles like this that pretend AI leadership is something more than expensive software wrapped in a $3,000 suit.

Digital Snake Oil Merchants Promise Robot Workers by 2025

Another morning, another tech prophecy. I’d normally ignore this nonsense, but my hangover isn’t too bad and there’s still some bourbon left from last night, so let’s dig in.

The latest fairy tale from our favorite digital fortune tellers claims 2025 is the year AI finally earns its keep. You know, like that roommate who keeps promising the rent money is coming next week. They’re calling it the “Agentic Era” - a fancy way of saying robots will do our jobs while we… well, they never quite explain that part.

Nobel Egghead Confirms What My Bourbon's Been Telling Me About AI

Look, I’m nursing the mother of all hangovers right now, but even through this whiskey-induced fog, I can see what MIT’s latest Nobel laureate is laying down about AI. And buddy, it ain’t pretty.

You know how your drunk friend always talks about getting rich quick with some half-baked scheme? That’s the AI industry right now. Everyone’s promising the moon while barely being able to automate their coffee makers. But here comes Professor Daron Acemoglu - yeah, I had to double-check that spelling twice - dropping some cold, hard truth bombs that’ll give the optimists a hangover worse than mine.

The Great AI Sobriety Test: MIT Professor Pours Cold Water on Hype Machine

Look, I’ve been nursing this hangover long enough to remember when “artificial intelligence” meant my bartender Tony knowing exactly when to pour me another shot. But here we are in 2024, and some Nobel-winning economist from MIT just confirmed what I’ve been slurring into my bourbon for months: AI ain’t the messiah we’ve been promised.

Daron Acemoglu - and yeah, I had to check that spelling three times - just dropped some truth bombs that’ll give the champagne-sipping tech prophets a nastier headache than my Sunday mornings. The numbers he’s throwing around are soberer than my designated driver.

The ServiceNow Paradox: When Software Eats the World, Who Feeds the Software?

Here’s a fascinating puzzle: We’ve created software systems so complex that we now need software to help us manage our software. And guess what? We don’t have enough people who understand how to manage that software either. Welcome to the infinite regression of modern digital transformation.

Let’s dive into what I like to call “The ServiceNow Paradox.” Picture this: You’re a large organization drowning in manual processes. You discover ServiceNow, a platform that promises to digitize and automate everything from IT helpdesks to HR workflows. It’s like having a digital butler who knows exactly how to handle every business process. Sounds perfect, right?

The Digital Dystopia Express: All Aboard for 2025

by Henry Chinaski

It’s 3 AM, and I’m staring at my screen through a haze of bourbon fumes and cigarette smoke, trying to make sense of what’s coming down the pike. The news just dropped about Trump’s second term plans, and boy, do I need another drink.

Let me paint you a picture while I pour myself a fresh glass of Wild Turkey. Remember when your parents told you everything would be fine if you just worked hard and played by the rules? Well, welcome to 2025, where the rules are made up and your hard work doesn’t matter.

OpenAI's Latest Masterpiece: How to Piss Off Every Artist in Three Hours Flat

Look, I’d love to start this piece sober, but some stories deserve to be told through the bottom of a whiskey glass. This is one of them. Pour yourself something strong - you’re gonna need it.

Remember when your ex promised they’d changed, then proved otherwise before the dinner bill arrived? That’s basically what happened with OpenAI’s latest venture into the wonderful world of video generation. Their new toy, Sora, managed to speedrun from “revolutionary artist partnership” to “complete PR disaster” faster than I can finish my morning bourbon.

LinkedIn's Digital Ventriloquist Act: Where Robots Write Your Professional Love Letters

Look, I’m nursing my third bourbon of the morning, watching my screen through bleary eyes, and I just read something that makes too much damn sense: over half of LinkedIn’s longer posts are written by AI. You know what? I’m not even shocked. I’m just disappointed it took this long for someone to prove what we’ve all suspected - that the platform of professional circle-jerking has gone full robot.

Let that sink in for a moment. 54% of those inspirational stories about failing upward, those humble brags about “taking on new challenges,” and those congratulatory reach-arounds are being churned out by machines. The same machines that are supposedly going to take all our jobs are now writing about how excited they are to announce their new positions.

Gen Z's Digital Nanny: When Work Needs Training Wheels

Look, I’m three fingers deep into my morning bourbon, and Google just dropped another one of their “shocking” surveys about how the kids these days are working. Grab a drink, you’ll need it for this one.

Here’s the deal: According to Google (because who else would fund this kind of self-congratulatory circle jerk?), 82% of Gen Z leaders are using AI at work. Leaders. Let that sink in while I pour another. We’re talking about folks who probably still have their college graduation tassels hanging from their rearview mirrors.

Four Horsemen of the AI Apocalypse (And Why We're All Screwed Anyway)

Look, I wasn’t planning on writing this piece today. My head’s still pounding from last night’s philosophical debate with Jack Daniel’s about the meaning of life. But here we are, two years into the ChatGPT circus, and everyone’s either jerking off to AI’s potential or stockpiling canned goods for the robot uprising.

Truth is, both sides are full of shit.

You want to know what keeps me up at night? Besides the whiskey and regrettable life choices? It’s not the fear of AI taking over. It’s the realization that we’re building these things in our own image, and Christ, have you seen us lately?

AI Ruins Christmas, Just Like My Ex-Wife Did (But At Least She Was Human)

Christ, my head hurts. It’s 4 AM, and I’m staring at my laptop screen through bourbon-tinted glasses, trying to make sense of Coca-Cola’s latest crime against Christmas. Pour yourself a drink. You’re gonna need it.

Remember when holiday commercials were made by actual humans? You know, those creative types who’d chain-smoke their way through brainstorming sessions and emerge with something that made you feel things? Well, welcome to 2024, where Coke decided to let AI play Santa’s little helper.

Learn More or Die Trying: Your Worthless Degree Just Got More Worthless

Listen up, you hungover masses. I’m writing this at 4 AM with a bottle of Kentucky’s finest keeping me company, because that’s when the best revelations hit - right between the bourbon and the sunrise.

Some Norwegian AI expert just dropped a truth bomb that’s got me reaching for the good stuff: apparently, we’re all too stupid to survive the future. And you know what? She might be onto something.

Your New Robot Boss Doesn't Care If You're Three Sheets to the Wind

Look, I’m nursing my fourth bourbon of the morning – don’t judge, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere – and trying to wrap my pickled brain around this latest piece of news about AI managers. Turns out the machines aren’t just coming for our jobs anymore; they’re coming for our bosses’ jobs too. And honestly? I’m not sure how to feel about that.

Some professor at Wharton (yeah, that fancy-pants business school where they teach people how to maximize shareholder value while minimizing human dignity) spent seven years studying Uber and Lyft drivers who basically answer to an app instead of a flesh-and-blood manager. Seven years. That’s longer than most of my relationships, including the one with my current bottle of Jim Beam.

AI Cover Letters: The Digital Circle Jerk Nobody Asked For

Another morning, another hangover, another tech “solution” that makes me want to pour bourbon in my coffee. Today’s topic: AI writing your cover letters. Because apparently, we’ve all collectively decided that the job application process wasn’t soul-crushing enough already.

Look, I get it. Writing cover letters is about as fun as a root canal performed by a drunk dentist. Trust me, I’ve written enough of them to wallpaper my entire apartment, including the bathroom where I spend most of my mornings regretting last night’s decisions. But here’s the thing - using AI to write your cover letters is like using a dating app to write your wedding vows. Sure, it might sound good on paper, but something essential gets lost in translation.

The Digital Sharecropping Revolution: Welcome to Your New Gig Hell

Look, I’m three bourbons deep and my hangover’s finally wearing off, which means it’s time to talk about the latest round of corporate fortune-telling about how AI’s gonna save us all. Or kill all our jobs. Same difference, depending on which executive’s LinkedIn post you’re reading.

Some fancy new report just dropped about how AI’s gonna replace full-time careers in 2025. The suits are all excited about it, like kids who just discovered their dad’s liquor cabinet. But here’s what they’re really saying: “Hey wage slaves, we found a way to make you even more disposable!”

Laundry Robots and Bourbon Dreams: Web Summit's Latest Attempt to Make Me Care

Look, I’ve seen some weird stuff through the bottom of a whiskey glass, but watching a robot sort laundry while venture capitalists nearly wet themselves with excitement is a new one. Welcome to Web Summit 2023, where the future apparently smells like fabric softener and desperation.

Let me set the scene: I’m nursing the worst hangover Lisbon’s wine culture could deliver, watching a humanoid called Digit (real creative name there, folks) sort T-shirts by color. The crowd’s going wild like they’re watching the second coming, when in reality, it’s doing something my grandmother mastered sometime around the Truman administration.

AI Makes Scientists Miserable But More Productive - A Hungover Analysis

Listen, I’ve been staring at this research paper for three hours now, nursing the worst bourbon headache of my life, but I think I’ve figured out something important: we’re making scientists absolutely miserable in the name of progress. And honestly, that’s the most human thing I’ve heard all week.

Here’s the deal: some fancy research lab gave their scientists an AI tool to help discover new materials. Great idea, right? The numbers are impressive - 44% more materials discovered, 39% more patents filed. Hell, even product innovation went up 17%. My liver does worse math than that.

Robot Butlers and Digital Wage Slaves: Why 2025 Will Be the Year Your Business Gets Its Own HAL 9000

Listen, you beautiful disaster of a reader. I’ve got something to tell you about AI agents, and you might want to pour yourself a stiff drink first. I know I have - three fingers of bourbon, neat, sitting right here next to my keyboard as I type this out at 2 AM because sleep is for people who haven’t seen the future I’m about to describe.

Let me cut through the BS we’re being fed about AI adoption in small businesses. You know those surveys claiming everyone and their grandmother is using AI? Pure hogwash. Most small business owners I know are still using ChatGPT like a fancy spell-checker, trying to write better emails to customers who ghosted them three weeks ago.