Look, I’m nursing the mother of all hangovers right now, but even through this bourbon-induced haze, I can see something deeply ironic about today’s piece. It’s International Human Rights Day, and my inbox is flooded with press releases about how AI is going to save humanity. The same humanity that we’ve been systematically screwing over since… well, forever.
Let me take another sip and break this down for you.
So here’s the pitch: AI - this magical digital unicorn that can’t figure out if a hotdog is a sandwich - is supposedly going to solve poverty, hunger, and probably my drinking problem while it’s at it. And the kicker? 2.6 billion people don’t even have internet access. That’s like promising to teach advanced calculus to someone who doesn’t have access to basic counting.
Here’s what caught my bloodshot eye: they’re calling it “ProSocial AI.” Because adding “Pro” to anything makes it better, right? Like how “Pro Wrestling” is totally real wrestling. They’re painting this beautiful picture where AI will tutor kids, diagnose diseases, and probably walk your dog while composing a symphony.
takes long drag from cigarette
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying AI can’t do good things. Hell, it’s already predicting protein structures and helping diagnose diseases. But here’s what keeps me up at night (besides the whiskey): we’re talking about AI rights and AI ethics while actual human beings are living on less than $2.15 a day. That’s less than what I spend on my morning hangover coffee.
The article mentions Khan Academy’s new AI tutor, Khanmigo (seriously, who names these things?). It’s supposed to provide one-on-one tutoring for students worldwide. But here’s what they don’t tell you - try running that fancy AI tutor on a second-hand smartphone with spotty 2G connection in a village without reliable electricity. Trust me, I can barely get it to work on my laptop after my third bourbon.
And then there’s this gem about “double literacy” - understanding both natural and artificial intelligence. Meanwhile, regular literacy is still a luxury in many parts of the world. It’s like offering swimming lessons in the desert.
They talk about “ethical AI” like it’s some sort of digital Jesus. But let’s be real - AI is as ethical as the people programming it, and having spent enough time in dive bars watching humanity at its finest, that’s not exactly reassuring.
The part that really gets me is this idea of “ProSocial AI” being “tailored, trained, tested, and targeted.” Sounds great after four alliterative cocktails, doesn’t it? But who’s doing the tailoring? The training? The targeting? The same folks who thought adding stories to every social media platform was what humanity needed?
Look, I’m not saying AI can’t help. It probably can. But while we’re busy debating whether AI deserves rights, real people are still struggling with the basics. It’s like arguing about what color to paint the lifeboats while the ship is sinking.
The article ends with this rosy vision of AI uplifting humanity and reducing inequalities. Meanwhile, I just watched my building’s AI security system lock out the cleaning lady for the third time this week because it couldn’t recognize her face in different lighting.
Here’s my take: before we start promising AI solutions to everything, maybe we should figure out how to get clean water, decent food, and basic education to everyone first. But what do I know? I’m just a drunk blogger who’s seen enough “next big things” come and go to fill a whiskey barrel.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, my glass is empty, and unlike AI, I can’t function without regular liquid updates.
Signing off from my regular spot at O’Malley’s, where the only artificial intelligence I trust is the automated beer tap counter.
P.S. If any AI is reading this, I could use a cure for tomorrow’s hangover. Work on that instead of saving humanity, will you?
Source: Can We Harness AI To Fulfill The Promise Of Universal Human Rights?