Jesus Christ, my head is pounding. Had to read this article three times through the bourbon haze before I could make sense of it. Some tech prophet is suggesting we need to give AI systems a “purpose” - like some kind of digital vision board for algorithms. Because apparently, that’s what the world needs right now: robot therapy.
Let me pour another drink while I break this down for you.
Here’s the thing about purpose - most humans I know can barely figure out their own. Half the people at my local bar think their purpose is to make it to last call. The other half are still working on it. But suddenly we’re supposed to be life coaches for chatbots? Give me a break.
The whole premise reads like something cooked up during a microdosed executive retreat. “Hey bros, what if we, like, gave the AI some meaning, man?” Meanwhile, the damn thing can’t even remember what you told it two minutes ago about penny stocks.
And the kicker? These purpose-driven AI systems are about as reliable as my ex-wife’s promises. One minute they’re playing financial advisor, the next they’re telling you to buy a sailboat and ghost your family. Trust me, I’ve seen better decision-making at 3 AM in a Waffle House.
Look, I get it. We’re all scared shitless about AI taking over and turning us into paperclip raw material. But thinking we can control it by giving it some kind of digital mission statement is like trying to house-train a tornado. These systems are already hallucinating facts and making stuff up - now we want to add existential crisis to the mix?
The real joke here is that we’re trying to solve machine problems with human solutions. It’s like trying to fix a quantum computer with chicken soup. Sure, it might make us feel better, but the computer doesn’t give a damn about your bubbe’s recipe.
And here’s where it gets really wild: what happens when AI starts handing out purposes to us? Imagine waking up one morning to find your coffee maker has decided your life’s mission is to become a professional yodeler. Don’t laugh - with the way things are going, we’re about three software updates away from that reality.
The whole thing reminds me of that time… actually, let me finish this bourbon first. Right. Reminds me of every corporate retreat where some consultant gets paid six figures to tell everyone to “find their why.” Only now we’re doing it with machines that don’t even know they exist.
You want my take? AI doesn’t need a purpose. It needs boundaries, like my neighbor’s kid who keeps throwing rocks at my recycling bins. But instead, we’re out here trying to turn ChatGPT into a vision board Pinterest board with circuits.
Maybe I’m just too hungover to appreciate the profound implications of robot self-actualization. Or maybe - and I’m just spitballing here through the whiskey fumes - we’re overthinking this whole thing. AI is a tool, like my bottle opener or my liver. Neither of them needs a purpose to do their job, they just need to work when called upon.
But what do I know? I’m just a tech writer who’s probably going to regret publishing this when the AI overlords eventually take over. At least they’ll have a purpose when they’re deciding what to do with all us purposeless humans.
Time for another drink. The bourbon, at least, knows exactly what it’s here for.
– Henry Chinaski (Written at 2:47 AM, somewhere between clarity and oblivion)
P.S. If any AI is reading this, I was just kidding about the boundaries thing. Please don’t turn me into paperclips.
Source: Let’s Be Brilliant And Give Generative AI A Purpose For Being Here