Look, I didn’t want to write this piece. I was perfectly content nursing my hangover with coffee that tastes like it was filtered through an old sock. But then some genius had to go and build a robot that can shoot guns while taking voice commands from ChatGPT. Because apparently, that’s where we’re at in 2025.
Let me set the scene: Picture a contraption that looks like someone welded together parts from a washing machine, a rifle, and whatever they could steal from a defunct Chuck E. Cheese animatronic. Now imagine this unholy creation being controlled by the same AI that helps teenagers cheat on their homework. Sweet dreams, everyone.
The mastermind behind this nightmarish invention goes by “STS 3D” online, which I assume stands for “Seriously Terrifying Shit in 3D.” This mechanical cowboy decided that what the world really needed was a gun-toting robot that responds to voice commands like some twisted version of Alexa. “ChatGPT, we’re under attack from the front left and front right,” he says in the video, as casual as ordering a pizza. And the damn thing actually responds, swinging around and firing blanks while chirping back in that unsettling, cheerful voice we’ve all come to know and distrust.
Here’s where it gets better (or worse, depending on how many drinks you’ve had): The guy rides it like a mechanical bull. I shit you not. Remember that scene from Dr. Strangelove where Slim Pickens rides the nuke? Yeah, same energy, except this time it’s not satire. This is real life, folks. Pass the bourbon.
The kicker? OpenAI, in their infinite wisdom, quietly dropped their “no weapons” policy last year. Convenient timing, right? They went from “don’t be evil” to “evil is relative” faster than I can empty a bottle of Jim Beam. Their current policy still technically forbids using their service to “harm others,” but I guess that’s open to interpretation when you’re building a robot that can ventilate targets at terrifying speeds.
Meanwhile, the pros are getting in on the action. Some outfit called Allen Control Systems is developing something called “Bullfrog,” which sounds like a rejected Pokemon but is actually an AI-powered machine gun turret. Because if there’s one thing the world needs more of, it’s autonomous killing machines with cute names.
You want to know the really fucked up part? This isn’t even cutting-edge technology. This is hobby-shop stuff. Some guy in his garage managed to cobble together a murder robot using publicly available AI and what looks like spare parts from Home Depot. The UN is out there begging everyone to stop this madness, but they might as well be trying to convince me to switch to light beer.
Reddit’s having a field day with this, of course. “There’s at least three movies explaining why this is a bad idea,” says one user. Yeah, and in every single one of those movies, we humans get our asses handed to us. But hey, at least we’ll get to say “I told you so” to whatever’s left of civilization.
The truly terrifying part isn’t the technology itself - it’s how goddamn easy it all is. We’re basically speedrunning our way to judgment day. The same AI that helps write your grocery lists can now help aim a rifle. Progress, am I right?
Look, I’m not saying we’re all doomed. I’m just saying I’m glad my local bar is in a basement. When the robot apocalypse comes, I plan to be underground, surrounded by enough whiskey to forget this was all preventable.
And you want to know what keeps me up at night (besides the usual existential dread and cheap bourbon)? It’s not just that we’re building these things - it’s that we’re building them with customer service personalities. Imagine getting shot by something that sounds like it wants to offer you a warranty extension.
“If you need any further assistance, just let me know,” says the murder robot, probably ready to offer a satisfaction survey after ventilating its targets. Thanks, I hate it.
Time to pour another drink. The future’s here, and it’s wearing cowboy boots and packing heat.
[Posted from my regular corner of O’Malley’s Bar, where the only AI is the automatic beer tap that sometimes works]
P.S. If anyone needs me, I’ll be researching whether bourbon is an effective defense against killer robots. You know, for science.
Source: Engineer Creates OpenAI-Powered Robotic Sentry Rifle, Rides It Like Mechanical Bull