Wasted Wetware - tomorrow’s tech news, today’s hangover
Alright, you digital degenerates, gather ‘round. It’s Thursday morning, the sun’s trying to stab me in the eyes, and my head feels like a bowling ball filled with angry bees. Naturally, that means it’s time to talk about the latest absurdity bubbling up from the digital swamp.
This time, it’s personal. Or, well, it’s about as personal as a digital funhouse mirror reflecting a distorted, slightly drunk version of yourself back at you. We’re talking about AI personas. Not just any AI personas, mind you. We’re talking about AI that’s learning to mimic you. Yeah, you heard that right. Your quirks, your speech patterns, your questionable taste in late-night infomercials – it’s all fair game for the digital vultures.
Now, I’ve seen some weird stuff in my time. I once watched a guy try to fight a parking meter after downing a bottle of tequila. But this? This is a whole new level of bizarre.
Imagine this: you’re cruising the internet, looking for, I don’t know, a cure for the hangover that’s currently trying to kill you. Suddenly, an ad pops up. And who’s staring back at you, with that same “I haven’t slept in 48 hours” look you’ve perfected? You. Or rather, a digital Frankenstein’s monster cobbled together from your social media posts and online ramblings.
And this digital doppelganger is trying to sell you something. Maybe it’s that smartwatch you drunkenly added to your wish list last week. Maybe it’s a miracle hangover cure (spoiler alert: they don’t exist). The point is, this AI knows your weaknesses. It knows what buttons to push. It’s like that sleazy salesman who can smell desperation from a mile away, except this one lives inside your computer and looks exactly like you.
They call it “personalized marketing.” I call it creepy as hell.
The thing is, these AI eggheads are getting good. They can take a static image of your face, you know, that one from your cousin’s wedding where you look like you’re contemplating the futility of existence, and turn it into a moving, talking, sales pitch machine. They can scrape your online musings, the ones you probably wrote while three sheets to the wind, and use them to craft a sales pitch so perfectly tailored to your psyche, it’s like they’ve crawled inside your skull and taken up residence.
The article I stumbled upon, written by some suit over at Forbes, talks about this like it’s some kind of marketing breakthrough. Star power, they call it. If a celebrity endorses a product, you’re more likely to buy it, right? Well, what’s more powerful than having yourself endorse something? It’s like looking in the mirror and saying, “Damn, I look good. I should totally buy that thing I’m holding.”
And here’s the real mind-bender: it might actually work. Think about it. You trust your friends, right? You might even, on occasion, trust your own judgment (though I wouldn’t recommend it after a certain number of drinks). So, if a digital version of you, spouting your own half-baked opinions, tells you to buy something, you might just be dumb enough to listen.
They’re using this tech on that ChatGPT thing, the one with 300 million users or something insane like that. They feed it your online garbage, tell it to pretend to be you, and then unleash it on, well, you. It’s like a digital snake eating its own tail, except the tail is made of your bad decisions and questionable online purchases.
The Forbes guy goes on about the ethics of it all, about whether these digital puppets should announce themselves as AI. Like that’s going to stop the scammers and con artists. They’re going to use this tech to sell you swampland, fake crypto, and whatever other digital snake oil they can dream up. And they’re going to do it using your own face.
And the truly terrifying part? Some of us are going to fall for it. We’re going to see our own digital reflections, hear our own voices, and think, “Yeah, that guy knows what he’s talking about.” We’re going to buy the crap, invest in the scams, and wake up the next morning with a hangover and an empty bank account.
So, what’s the takeaway here? Well, besides the fact that I need another drink, it’s this: be skeptical. Be skeptical of everything, especially if it looks like you and sounds like you. The internet is a hall of mirrors, and most of those reflections are designed to sell you something.
Remember, folks, the only person you can truly trust is… well, definitely not me. But at least I’m honest about being a mess. These AI things? They’re just pretending. And that’s a whole lot more dangerous than any hangover.
Stay wasted, my friends, but stay sharp. Or as sharp as you can be with a head full of cotton and a liver that’s seen better days.
Cheers, or whatever. I’m going back to bed.
Source: AI Personas Are Pretending To Be You And Then Aim To Sell Or Scam You Via Your Own Persuasive Ways