Well folks, pour yourself a stiff one because we need to talk about aging. Not just your regular human variety where you forget where you left your keys or why you walked into a room, but the kind where our supposed digital overlords start losing their silicon minds.
Remember how your grandpa couldn’t set the VCR clock and it just kept blinking 12:00? Turns out our fancy AI friends aren’t doing much better. According to some neurologists who apparently had nothing better to do with their time, they’ve discovered that AI models are experiencing their own version of cognitive decline. And here I thought I was the only one getting dumber by the day.
The researchers took five big-shot AI models - ChatGPT 4, GPT-4o, Claude 3.5 “Sonnet,” and two versions of Gemini - and put them through something called the Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA). It’s the same test doctors use when they’re trying to figure out if grandma’s forgetfulness is just age or something more serious. You know, drawing clocks, remembering words, connecting dots - the kind of stuff that seems pretty straightforward until you’re three bourbons deep.
The results? Let’s just say these AI hotshots aren’t as hot as they’d like us to think. Gemini 1 failed eight out of twelve challenges. That’s worse than me trying to remember what I did last Saturday night. ChatGPT and Claude didn’t do much better, stumbling over the same four challenges like synchronized swimmers who’ve had too much to drink.
But here’s where it gets really interesting - and by interesting, I mean terrifying. The older versions of these AI models performed worse than their younger counterparts. Just like humans, they’re getting worse with age. The researchers say it looks similar to something called posterior cortical atrophy, which is basically Alzheimer’s evil cousin. Great. We’re building digital beings that can’t even maintain their own minds.
Some tech experts are getting their panties in a bunch about this study, saying you can’t judge AI using human standards. They claim it’s like “judging a submarine by its aerial capabilities.” Well, excuse me for thinking that if something’s supposed to help doctors diagnose diseases, it should at least be able to draw a damn clock correctly.
You want to know the real kicker? These systems are already being used in hospitals and medical offices across the country. So while your doctor is relying on AI to help diagnose your problems, the AI itself might be suffering from digital dementia. It’s like asking your drunk friend for directions - sure, they might get you there eventually, but do you really want to take that risk?
The researchers concluded that neurologists won’t be replaced by AI anytime soon. No shit. Instead, they might end up having to treat AI models for cognitive impairment. Imagine that - robot psychiatrists treating robot patients for robot dementia. If that’s not a Black Mirror episode waiting to happen, I don’t know what is.
Look, I’m not saying we should panic. But maybe, just maybe, we should pump the brakes on letting potentially senile AI systems make important medical decisions. At least when I make bad decisions, I can blame it on the whiskey. What’s their excuse?
Speaking of which, my glass is empty and this Wednesday is starting to feel like it’s never going to end. Time to pour another and contemplate the fact that even our digital assistants aren’t immune to getting old and forgetful. At least they don’t have to worry about hangovers.
Until next time, keep your minds sharp and your drinks sharper.
P.S. If you’re wondering why this post is a bit late, blame it on my computer. It’s probably experiencing cognitive decline too.
Source: AI Models Experience ‘Cognitive Decline’ As They Age: Study