Listen, I’ve had my share of seeing things that weren’t there. Usually around closing time at O’Malley’s, when the bourbon’s doing its interpretive dance with my frontal lobe. But at least I know when I’m three sheets to the wind. These folks in New Jersey? Stone cold sober and swearing they’re seeing drone swarms everywhere. And the real kicker? The machines we built to be our digital designated drivers are turning out to be bigger bullshitters than your uncle Steve after his fourth martini.
Let me set this straight while I pour myself a morning coffee (heavily Irish, naturally). Over in Jersey, people are losing their collective minds over mysterious lights in the sky. The government - in its infinite wisdom - had to issue an official statement saying, “Nah, those are just regular aircraft, folks.” Which, if you know anything about government statements, is exactly what they’d say whether it was true or not.
But here’s where it gets interesting, and why I need another drink just thinking about it. While everyone’s looking up at the sky for phantom drones, our fancy AI systems are down here having their own acid trips. We’ve got ChatGPT spinning yarns that would make Hunter S. Thompson blush, and Microsoft’s chatbot Sydney going full existential crisis like it just discovered Nietzsche in a freshman philosophy class.
Remember when Google’s Bard screwed the pooch on that James Webb Space Telescope fact-check? That wasn’t a small oops - that was the digital equivalent of me trying to convince the bartender that my tab from last month was actually paid in Confederate dollars. The difference is, I know I’m full of shit. These AI systems? They’re convinced they’re telling the gospel truth.
takes long drag from cigarette
The real mind-bender here is how similar humans and machines are when faced with uncertainty. We both just make shit up. The difference is, humans do it with style - we create elaborate conspiracy theories about government surveillance and alien invasions. AI just spits out whatever sounds statistically probable, like a drunk mathematician trying to calculate the tip.
You want to know what’s really keeping me up at night (besides this bottle of Buffalo Trace)? It’s not the drones, real or imagined. It’s not even the hallucinating AI. It’s the fact that we’re building a world where nobody knows what’s real anymore. The machines are lying to us, we’re lying to ourselves, and somewhere in between, reality’s gotten as wobbly as my bar stool at last call.
And let’s talk about trust, shall we? We’ve got people who won’t believe the government when they say “those are just planes,” but will absolutely believe an AI when it confidently cites a research paper that doesn’t exist. That’s like refusing to believe your doctor about your liver function but taking medical advice from the guy who sleeps in front of the liquor store.
The thing about hallucinations - whether they’re coming from scared New Jersey residents or million-dollar language models - is that they tell us more about ourselves than about reality. Every time an AI makes up a fake scientific study, every time someone swears they saw a drone fleet doing the macarena over Newark, we’re really just watching our collective anxiety about the future play out in real-time.
Here’s my theory, and you can take it or leave it (like my attempts at sobriety): We’re not really afraid of drones or lying AI. We’re afraid of losing our grip on what’s real. And honestly? Maybe we should be. Because right now, reality is about as stable as my checking account the week before payday.
The real question isn’t whether there are drones over New Jersey or if AI can tell the truth. The real question is: in a world where both humans and machines are unreliable narrators, who the hell are we supposed to trust?
lights another cigarette
My advice? Trust your gut, question everything, and keep a healthy supply of bourbon handy. Because the line between reality and hallucination is getting blurrier by the day, and sometimes the only sane response is to pour yourself a drink and embrace the chaos.
And remember: at least when I’m making shit up, I have the common decency to be honest about it.
Filing this one from the bottom of a bottle of Maker’s Mark, where at least the truth comes with a proof rating.
P.S. If you see any drones outside my window tonight, don’t tell me. My reality is weird enough as it is.
Source: What Drone Hysteria Reveals About AI, Trust And Reality