Another Friday morning, another cup of gas station coffee attempting to chisel away at the remnants of last night’s whiskey. My head feels like a dropped bowling ball, and my eyes are doing their best impression of a couple of bloodshot marbles. But hey, the internet never sleeps, and neither does the relentless march of tech absurdity.
So, grab your own poison of choice, folks, and let’s dive into the latest dumpster fire erupting from the digital wasteland. It seems our favorite billionaire man-children, Elon Musk and Sam Altman, are at each other’s throats again. And this time, it’s not just about who’s got the shinier AI toy. Nope, now it’s about loyalty. Specifically, loyalty to the orange emperor himself, Donald J. Trump.
Yeah, you heard that right. The same Trump who, last I checked, wasn’t exactly known for his deep understanding of artificial intelligence, unless you count his own artificially inflated ego.
Apparently, the feud between Musk and Altman has been simmering for years, like a cheap bottle of rotgut left out in the sun. Lawsuits, accusations, the whole nine yards. But now, Musk is playing the Trump card, accusing Altman of being a fair-weather friend to the former president.
And the twist? It all started when Altman, the guy who once compared Trump’s rise to Nazism, started singing a different tune. Suddenly, he’s seen the light, realized Trump is “right about some big things,” and is even calling him “incredible for the country.”
I swear, you can’t make this stuff up. It’s like watching a pack of hyenas fight over a carcass, except the carcass is a giant pile of money and the hyenas are wearing tailored suits.
Musk, never one to miss an opportunity for a public spat, jumped on this like a drunk on a free bar tab. He’s been blasting Altman on X, calling him a “swindler” and digging up old tweets where Altman dared to criticize the great leader. It’s a full-blown digital mudslinging match, and the only winners are the popcorn vendors.
But here’s where it gets really interesting. Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has decided to partner with OpenAI, Altman’s company, on a massive new AI project called “Stargate.” Five hundred billion dollars, folks. That’s enough to buy a small country, or at least a few thousand gold-plated toilets.
And what does Musk do? He throws a tantrum, of course. He claims the whole thing is a sham, that the partners don’t have the money, that it’s all smoke and mirrors. Meanwhile, he’s sitting on his own $50 billion AI company, probably plotting how to get his own slice of the government pie. I can almost see his finger hover over a post, “Why does Trump not want my superior AI?”
It’s a classic case of billionaire envy, fueled by ego and a healthy dose of political opportunism. These guys are so desperate for Trump’s approval that they’re practically licking his boots clean. And Trump, well, he’s loving every minute of it. He’s got the tech world’s elite dancing to his tune, and they’re all too blind to see the strings.
And then, there is also this thing called “Stargate”, which sounds like it is a sci-fi movie, doesn’t it? Well, it is not a movie. It is real. And here, it is not just about Musk and Altman. SoftBank, Oracle, and some others are involved, too. So, what is going on here? Are we really going to build some super-intelligent, all-knowing AI that will solve all our problems and usher in a new era of peace and prosperity? Or is this just another boondoggle, a way for the rich to get richer while the rest of us are left to pick up the tab?
I don’t know about you, but I’m not holding my breath. I’ve seen enough of these tech promises to know that they usually end up as broken dreams and empty wallets. But hey, at least it’s entertaining. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion, except the train is made of money and the passengers are a bunch of over-privileged tech bros.
And let’s not forget the real victims here: us. The regular folks who are just trying to get by in a world that’s increasingly dominated by these tech titans. We’re the ones who have to deal with the consequences of their decisions, whether it’s the loss of our jobs to AI or the erosion of our privacy to surveillance tech.
But hey, who cares about us, right? As long as the billionaires are happy, everything’s fine. Just keep drinking your whiskey, folks, and try not to think about it too much.
Anyway, I’m gonna take another swig. This news has got me needing another shot already. It’s barely 9 a.m., and I’m on my third. I swear, it is like this every morning. It is like I am reliving the previous day over and over again, except that the characters may change, but the absurd reality remains the same.
Cheers, or as I like to say, bottoms up. Let’s see what fresh hell tomorrow brings.
Source: Elon Musk and Sam Altman’s personal feud has become a Trump loyalty test