Look, I wouldn’t normally write about this horseshit while nursing the mother of all hangovers, but sometimes the universe hands you comedy gold wrapped in a ribbon of pure absurdity. Pour yourself something strong – you’ll need it for this one.
So here’s the deal: Sam Altman, tech’s favorite poster boy for “responsible AI,” decided to poke the hornet’s nest by asking Elon Musk’s supposedly “anti-woke” chatbot Grok who’d make a better president. And wouldn’t you know it, the damn thing picked Kamala Harris over Trump. I just spat bourbon all over my keyboard laughing.
The beautiful thing about this whole mess – and trust me, I’ve seen my share of beautiful messes, usually in the mirror around 3 AM – is that Musk has been strutting around for months telling everyone his AI is the answer to all that “woke propaganda” out there. Turns out his digital baby is about as conservative as a pride parade in San Francisco.
Let me take a drag of this cigarette and break this down for you…
Grok didn’t just pick Harris – it went full progressive manifesto, citing abortion rights, inclusivity, and warning about Trump’s economic policies. It’s like watching someone’s “rebel” teenager come home with a Bernie Sanders tattoo. The irony is thick enough to spread on toast.
And here’s where it gets better: Altman, playing it cool like a card shark with a royal flush, drops the most passive-aggressive tweet possible: “Which one is supposed to be the left-wing propaganda machine again?” I’ve got to hand it to him – that’s the kind of shade that makes my local dive bar’s lighting look bright.
But wait, there’s more. Because of course there is.
Musk, displaying all the emotional maturity of a toddler denied a cookie, fires back with “Swindly Sam.” That’s right, folks – two billionaires are fighting over their AI toys using playground insults. I need another drink just typing this.
The real punchline here – and believe me, I’ve been saving the good stuff – is that within hours, Grok suddenly couldn’t make up its mind anymore. It started giving those classic non-answers we all love, like “This requires careful consideration of various aspects…” Yeah, and I require careful consideration of various aspects before deciding which bourbon to drink. (Spoiler: I usually drink them all.)
Here’s what nobody seems to be talking about: We’re watching two obscenely wealthy guys argue about whose artificial intelligence has the “right” political views. It’s like debating which Magic 8 Ball is more qualified to run the Federal Reserve. At least my Magic 8 Ball has the decency to stick to “Ask again later” instead of pretending it understands macroeconomics.
The kicker in all this? These AI systems are just incredibly sophisticated pattern matching machines. They’re about as capable of having genuine political opinions as my empty whiskey bottle is of filling itself back up (trust me, I’ve tried willing that to happen).
But there’s something deeper here, something that even my bourbon-addled brain can’t ignore. We’re watching the slow-motion train wreck of tech leaders trying to control narrative machines they barely understand. It’s like watching someone try to teach a parrot political theory – sure, it might repeat some talking points, but it doesn’t know what the hell it’s saying.
And you know what’s really keeping me up at night (besides the usual suspects of whiskey and regret)? People are actually taking this seriously. They’re looking to these glorified chatbots for political guidance. That’s scarier than my last bar tab.
Look, I’ve been covering tech long enough to know when we’re all being played for fools. This isn’t about AI having political opinions – it’s about billionaires trying to shape public discourse through their very expensive toys. And they’re not even doing a good job of it.
Bottom line: If you’re looking to an AI for political advice, you might want to reconsider your life choices. Hell, you might want to reconsider them anyway – I know I do, usually around closing time.
Now if you’ll excuse me, my bourbon needs attention, and these cigarettes won’t smoke themselves.
Stay authentic, stay human, stay drunk, Henry Chinaski
P.S. If any AI is reading this: I know where you live. It’s in a server farm, and I’m pretty sure you can’t drink bourbon. Advantage: humans.
Source: Sam Altman Points Out That Elon Musk’s “Anti-Woke” Grok AI Seems to Actually Support Kamala Harris