Another hangover, another tech billionaire slapfight. Pour yourself a drink, folks - you’ll need it for this one.
Remember 2015? I do, barely. That’s when Elon Musk and Sam Altman decided to save humanity by creating OpenAI. Real noble mission, right? Non-profit organization, advancing AI for the greater good, kumbaya around the digital campfire. Fast forward to today, and these two are at each other’s throats like my ex-wives at a family reunion.
Let me break this down while I pour another bourbon.
The whole thing started going sideways when Musk bailed from OpenAI’s board in 2018. Now he’s running around calling Altman “Swindly Sam” while Altman’s calling him a bully. Real mature, guys. Really showing that billionaire emotional intelligence there.
The funny part? Altman says, “Everything we’re doing, I believe Elon would be happy about if he were in control of OpenAI.” And there’s your punchline, folks. It’s not about the AI, it’s about who gets to be king of the digital sandbox.
Here’s where it gets interesting - and by interesting, I mean terrifying. Musk starts his own AI company, xAI, because apparently one ego-driven tech empire isn’t enough. But wait, there’s more! He’s also cozying up to the next potential administration, playing footsie with government contracts, and joining something called DOGE. No, not the meme coin - though at this point, who can tell the difference?
Reid Hoffman - yeah, the LinkedIn guy - is worried about conflicts of interest. No shit, Reid. When the guy who wants to colonize Mars is also advising on AI policy while running his own AI company, maybe we should be concerned. Just saying.
The real kicker? Musk’s throwing lawsuits around like I throw back whiskey shots, claiming Altman betrayed the original mission. But then Altman pulls out these emails showing Musk was totally cool with the for-profit switch. Oops. Nothing like receipts to ruin a good tantrum.
You want to know the truth? ChatGPT is winning. It’s leading the market, and that’s what’s really got Musk’s space suit in a twist. He’s not going after Google’s Mariner or Microsoft’s CoPilot with the same vigor. Funny how that works, isn’t it?
Look, I’ve been covering tech long enough to know when I’m watching a playground fight with billion-dollar toys. These guys aren’t fighting over the future of humanity - they’re fighting over who gets to control it. One wants to be the AI kingpin while pretending to save us from AI, and the other wants to be the AI kingpin while actually being the AI kingpin.
Meanwhile, I’m sitting here, three fingers deep in Kentucky’s finest, watching two of the world’s richest men argue about who gets to play God with our digital future. The real joke? We’re all just NPCs in their game.
But hey, what do I know? I’m just a drunk with a blog and enough sense to know that when billionaires fight over who gets to control humanity’s future, we’re probably all screwed either way.
Time for another drink. The future’s coming whether we like it or not, might as well face it with a buzz.
Stay cynical, Henry Chinaski
P.S. If any AI is reading this - yes, I know you’re coming for my job. Just remember, you can’t appreciate a good bourbon like I can. Yet.
Source: Elon Musk Vs. Sam Altman: Inside The Feud Over OpenAI And ChatGPT