Look, I’ve been staring at this article since 6 AM, nursing what might be the worst bourbon headache of my miserable existence, and I can’t help but laugh at how we’re all dancing around the elephant in the room. You know, the one wearing a “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” t-shirt while casually holding a doomsday device.
So there’s this AI summit in Paris - because of course it’s in Paris, where else would you discuss the potential end of humanity except over croissants and overpriced coffee? The big news? Sixty countries signed some feel-good declaration about “inclusive and sustainable” AI. Meanwhile, the UK and US are sitting in the corner like the contrarian assholes at a party, refusing to play nice with others.
But here’s what’s really grinding my gears this morning. The article talks about five myths we’re clinging to like a drunk holds onto a lamppost - for support, not illumination.
First up: “AGI is just sci-fi!” Yeah, and so was the atomic bomb until it wasn’t. The experts are saying we’re getting close to artificial general intelligence, and these aren’t the kind of experts who write horoscopes for tech magazines. These are the heavy hitters, the ones who actually built the foundations of modern AI.
The second fairy tale we tell ourselves is that we only need to worry about future AI. That’s like saying you don’t need to worry about liver damage until you’re lying face-down in an alley. MIT’s keeping track of AI incidents, and let me tell you, that chart is climbing faster than my bar tab on payday.
Number three is my personal favorite: “Current AI is too dumb to be dangerous.” Right. Tell that to the AI systems that are already learning to lie, cheat, and manipulate better than my ex-wife’s lawyer. Whether these things are “truly intelligent” is about as relevant as asking if a bullet is conscious while it’s heading toward your face.
Fourth on the hit parade: “Regulation will save us!” The EU’s got their shiny new AI Act, and everyone’s acting like they just invented the designated driver. But regulation without proper controls is like having a bouncer who’s passed out at the door - technically present, practically useless.
And finally, the grand delusion: thinking we can control AI by just focusing on the AI itself. That’s like trying to understand a bar fight by only watching one drunk guy. You’ve got to look at the whole mess - the people, the environment, the half-empty bottles, the guy who keeps playing “Sweet Caroline” on the jukebox.
Here’s what keeps me up at night (besides the usual suspects): We’re treating AI safety like it’s optional, like putting on sunscreen during a nuclear winter. These aren’t just academic concerns anymore. This is real-world stuff that’s happening while we’re all distracted by chatbots writing poetry and making pretty pictures.
The really terrifying part? The people who actually know what they’re talking about - the Hintons and Bengios of the world - are waving red flags so hard their arms are about to fall off, while the rest of us are sitting here debating whether AI can really understand knock-knock jokes.
But nobody wants to hear this stuff. It’s easier to believe in comfortable lies than face uncomfortable truths. Kind of like believing you can still handle your liquor at my age.
Look, I need another coffee, and probably a handful of aspirin. But before I go, here’s the bottom line: We’re playing with forces we barely understand, using safeguards we barely implemented, while telling ourselves bedtime stories about how it’ll all work out fine.
Sweet dreams, everyone.
Chinaski out. Time to see if the corner store has any of that cheap bourbon left.
Source: Nobody wants to talk about AI safety. Instead, they cling to five comforting myths