Alright, you digital junkies and code monkeys, pull up a stool. It’s Monday, 7:30 in the goddamn morning, and my head feels like a bunch of monkeys are playing bongos in there. But even through this fog, I can see the latest absurdity coming out of the AI hype machine. This time, it’s this Forbes piece about not letting generative AI live in your head rent-free.
Yeah, you heard that right. Apparently, some folks are so enamored with these glorified chatbots that they’re letting them squat in their skulls, rearranging the furniture, and not even chipping in for utilities.
Now, this Forbes writer - a real suit, I bet - goes on about the “rent-free” saying. Says it started around 2010. I was probably blacked out in some dive bar back then, so I wouldn’t know. But the gist is, you shouldn’t let something occupy your mind if it ain’t giving you something back. Like that Taylor Swift broad. If you’re obsessing over her to the point where you can’t hold a decent conversation without bringing her up, then yeah, she’s a freeloader in your brainpan.
But here’s the thing. This ain’t about pop stars. It’s about machines. And not just any machines, but the ones they’re trying to convince us are gonna be our best friends, our lovers, our goddamn therapists. These LLMs, they call ’em. Large Language Models. Sounds like something you’d order at a fancy restaurant, only to find out it’s just a plate of bullshit.
And this is the real kicker. People are actually falling for it. They’re letting these things into their lives, letting them shape their thoughts, their feelings, even their damn relationships. They’re using them to write poems, for chrissakes. Poems! I mean, I’ve written some pretty bad stuff in my time, especially after a bender, but at least it was my own damn bad stuff.
This Forbes guy, he gives some examples. One poor sap is using AI to write love poems. Another is convinced the AI is their boyfriend or girlfriend. And get this: some are even trying to think like the AI, all logical and rational. Like they’re trying to become robots themselves.
It’s enough to make you wanna drown your sorrows in a bottle of the cheapest whiskey you can find. Which, coincidentally, is exactly what I’m about to do. But before I go, let me just say this. Your brain is prime real estate. Don’t let these digital squatters move in without paying their dues.
They want you to think they’re here to help, to make your life easier. But what they’re really doing is colonizing your mind, one bad poem, one fake conversation at a time. They say we’re in a grand experiment with this generative AI. Well, I’ll tell you what, I’ve been part of a lot of experiments in my life, and most of them involved questionable substances and even more questionable decisions. And let me tell you, they never ended well.
This Forbes writer says we should all be guinea pigs in this “grand loosey-goosey experiment”. He’s worried about the mental health outcomes. Me? I’m worried about the human race turning into a bunch of drooling idiots, so dependent on these machines that they can’t even wipe their own asses without asking an algorithm for instructions.
And the whole thing about “rent-free”? It’s a load of crap. These AI ain’t living in your head for free. They’re taking something from you. Your creativity, your individuality, your very ability to think for yourself. They’re sucking it all out, leaving you an empty shell, a hollowed-out husk, just like that bottle of bourbon I’m about to finish off.
They’re talking about brain-machine interfaces now. BMIs, they call them. Like it’s some kind of trendy new acronym. Soon, they’ll be plugging these things directly into our skulls, merging our minds with the machine. And then what? We become cyborgs, part human, part machine, forever connected to the digital hive mind, which, if the internet is any indication, is full of some real dumbasses.
This Forbes guy, he quotes Plato. Says, “Whatever deceives us seems to produce a magical enchantment.” Well, I’ve been deceived plenty of times, usually by a dame or a bottle, and there ain’t nothing magical about it. It’s just a hangover and an empty wallet.
And then he quotes da Vinci: “The greatest deception we suffer is from our own opinions.” Yeah, well, my opinion is that this whole AI craze is a load of horse manure, and if you let it live in your head, you’re the biggest sucker of them all.
So, here’s my advice. Keep your wits about you. Don’t let these digital hucksters sell you a bill of goods. Your mind is your own. Don’t give it away for free. Make ’em pay rent. And if they can’t afford it, kick ’em to the curb.
Alright, I’m off to find another bottle. This one’s empty, and my head’s starting to clear, which is never a good sign.
Stay wasted, my friends. Or don’t. I don’t give a damn. Just don’t let the machines win.
Later, losers.