So, OpenAI, the folks who brought you the robot that can write your kid’s book report (and probably your eulogy, if you’re not careful), decided they needed a makeover. Apparently, summoning digital demons from the silicon ether wasn’t “human” enough. They needed a new logo, a new typeface, the whole shebang. Because nothing screams “approachable” like a company that’s one bad algorithm away from turning us all into paperclips.
They’re calling it “more organic and more human.” Right. Like a genetically modified tomato is “more organic.” Like that third whiskey sour at 2 a.m. on a Wednesday that makes that person seem “more human”, more approachable, even. It’s all relative, ain’t it?
They even got a new font, “OpenAI Sans.” It “blends geometric precision and functionality with a rounded, approachable character.” Sounds like they described a goddamn toilet seat. Functional, sure. Approachable? Depends on how much tequila you’ve had. And geometric precision? Last time I checked, geometry was invented by humans. So, they’re using a human invention to make their AI seem…more human? My head hurts. Another slug of this bourbon should fix that. Or make it worse. It’s a 50/50 shot, really. Just like the odds of Skynet going live tomorrow.
And the logo? The “blossom” logo, they call it. Now with “sharper, more prominent edges.” Because nothing says “friendly neighborhood AI” like sharp edges. It’s like they’re trying to subliminally warn us. “We’re friendly, we’re approachable… but we can still cut you, bitch.”
They even used ChatGPT to help calculate the “different type weights.” See, even the machines are getting in on the act of pretending to be human. It’s like a digital minstrel show, only instead of blackface, they’re wearing rounded fonts and pastel colors.
The whole thing stinks of desperation, that particular kind of desperation that only comes after the third round of venture capital starts drying up. It reminds me of the first time I saw the girl I’m with put on makeup. All that effort, all that precision, just to look like something she’s not. And for what? To attract some other poor sap who’s probably just as lost and confused as she is.
And here’s the twist. They’re “in a state of flux,” they say. Legal troubles with Elon Musk (who, let’s be honest, is probably more machine than man at this point), competition from China, financial deals with Softbank… It’s a goddamn soap opera, only with more algorithms and fewer slaps to the face. Maybe.
But the design team, bless their cotton socks, they insist this was all planned. “Sam [Altman] asked us to look at the identity just over a year ago,” they said. A year ago! Back when ChatGPT was just a twinkle in some programmer’s eye, a “research experiment” that exploded like a cheap firework.
“ChatGPT was never meant to be a product,” Jager, one of the design heads, said. It gained a million users in five days. Yeah, well, a lot of things weren’t meant to be products. Like that weird rash I got after that night in Tijuana. But here we are.
They want their products to “assist human creativity, not replace it.” Sure, Jan. That’s what they all say. The tobacco companies said cigarettes were good for your nerves. The car companies said leaded gasoline was perfectly safe. And now the AI companies are saying their creations are just here to “help.”
It’s the same old song and dance, just with a different tune. A tune played on a geometrically precise, functionally rounded, approachable font.
And it all reminds me of that quote, you know the one. “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” We’re still chasing the same illusions, the same promises of a better tomorrow. Only now, the illusions are generated by algorithms, and the promises are whispered by chatbots with “human” faces.
Me? I’ll stick to my whiskey, my cigarettes, and my cynicism. It’s a more honest way to live, even if it’s not as “approachable.”
Bottoms up, and may your code always compile. Or not. Whatever. I need another drink.
Source: OpenAI’s rebrand is meant to make the company appear ‘more human’