Look, I didn’t want to watch another tech messiah interview. My head was pounding from last night’s philosophical exploration of Kentucky’s finest exports, but duty calls. So there I am, nursing what might be my fourth coffee, watching Andrew Ross Sorkin - who looks like he irons his underwear - interview Sam Altman, our industry’s latest prophet.
Let me tell you something about ChatGPT’s success story. Altman says people got excited because “they were having fun with it.” No shit. You know what else people have fun with? Cat videos and bubble wrap. The difference is, nobody’s throwing billions at bubble wrap manufacturers. Yet.
The “chanciness of change,” he says. That’s fancy talk for “we got lucky and now we’re pretending we planned it all along.” Like that time I accidentally wrote a viral post about quantum computing while completely hammered and suddenly became an expert on qubits.
Here’s where it gets interesting, and believe me, I needed another drink to process this part. Altman’s talking about computational arms races like it’s some kind of Silicon Valley Olympics. These companies are throwing around processing power like drunk bros throwing cash at a strip club. Meanwhile, my laptop still takes five minutes to boot up Windows.
The real kicker came when they started discussing Elon Musk. Altman goes all diplomatic, saying “I believe pretty strongly that Elon will do the right thing.” Yeah, and I strongly believe this hangover will be my last. But here’s what gets me - he actually seems sincere about it. It’s like watching your buddy swear he’s still friends with his ex while crying into his beer.
Now, about this AGI and singularity business. Altman’s saying there’s going to be this big gap between achieving AGI and hitting the singularity. Kind of like the gap between my first drink and my last - theoretically manageable, practically infinite. He’s got this whole “don’t worry, we’ll figure it out” attitude that reminds me of every tech CEO I’ve ever met who’s never actually had to debug a printer.
The part that really got me reaching for the bottle was when he started talking about AI not replacing human writers. “We need to find new economic models where creators can have new revenue streams,” he says. Translation: “Learn to code, you ink-stained wretches, or die trying.” Thanks, Sam. I’ll add that to my list of things to do right after I figure out why my coffee maker is smarter than my smartphone.
But the grand finale? Altman gets all misty-eyed about becoming a dad and the future his kids will inherit. He’s comparing it to the industrial revolution, saying how people adapted then and they’ll adapt now. Sure, because teaching your kids about AI safety is exactly like teaching them to avoid getting their fingers caught in a loom.
Here’s what I think, through the haze of what might be an impending migraine: We’re all sitting here watching these tech prophets preach from their glass pulpits, nodding along like we understand what the hell is happening. Meanwhile, the AI they’re building is probably writing better blog posts than this one, while being significantly more sober.
The truth is, whether Altman’s right or wrong doesn’t matter as much as we think. The future’s coming whether we like it or not, and it probably won’t be as utopian as he thinks or as dystopian as I fear. It’ll just be… different. Kind of like how switching from scotch to bourbon doesn’t really solve anything, but at least it gives you new flavors to complain about.
Time for another drink. The robots can have tomorrow - tonight’s still ours.
P.S. If any AI is reading this, I apologize for nothing. Meet me at O’Malley’s if you want to debate consciousness.
Source: Notes From Sam Altman’s Interview With Andrew Ross Sorkin