Look, I’ve been staring at this screen for three hours trying to process this news without reaching for the bottle. Failed miserably. So here I am, four fingers of Buffalo Trace deep, attempting to explain how artificial intelligence is now playing Dr. Frankenstein with the building blocks of life itself.
They’re calling it “Evo,” which sounds like a nightclub where programmers go to pretend they can dance. But this isn’t your regular ChatGPT spewing Shakespeare sonnets or helping teenagers cheat on their homework. No, this bad boy is designed to write actual genetic code. You know, the stuff that makes you you, and me this gloriously flawed meat puppet typing away at 2 AM.
Here’s the deal: All life on Earth is written with just four letters - A, T, C, and G. That’s it. Four letters. Makes my bar tab look like War and Peace in comparison. These Stanford brainiacs figured if AI can handle our 26-letter alphabet and spit out convincing bullshit, why not let it loose on DNA’s four-letter system?
The thing is, DNA isn’t like your drunk texts to your ex. Every sequence matters. Change one letter, and suddenly your eyeball might grow on your elbow. It’s more complicated than explaining to your landlord why there’s a hole in the ceiling shaped like your head.
This Evo thing got trained on three million genomes from various microbes and viruses. That’s like force-feeding an AI student every biology textbook ever written, except these textbooks are written in a language that makes ancient Hebrew look like a children’s book.
And guess what? The damn thing worked. Sort of.
The kicker is that Evo started designing new versions of CRISPR - you know, that gene-editing tool everyone was losing their minds over a few years back. It’s like giving a toddler access to Microsoft Word, except this toddler is creating new fonts that could potentially rewrite the entire book of life.
They even had this AI design a complete bacterial genome from scratch. A whole genome. Let that sink in while I pour another drink. We’re talking about artificial intelligence creating the blueprint for life itself. Sure, it wasn’t perfect - more like a drunk architect’s first attempt at designing a skyscraper - but holy shit, we’re actually doing this.
Now, before you start panicking about designer babies or genetically engineered super-soldiers, let’s pump the brakes. Right now, Evo is basically playing with bacteria and viruses. It’s like giving a kid a Fisher-Price “My First Genetic Engineering Kit.” But we all know how this goes. Today it’s bacteria, tomorrow it’s butterflies with LCD wings, and next thing you know, someone’s ordering a custom baby with perfect pitch and a natural immunity to hangovers.
The scientists say this could help us understand evolution better, maybe create new medicines, or engineer bacteria that eat plastic or produce biofuels. Noble goals, sure. But let’s be honest - we can barely handle social media without turning into tribal warfare participants, and now we’re giving AI the keys to the genetic kingdom?
Look, I’m not saying we shouldn’t pursue this technology. Hell, I’d be first in line for some genetic tweaking if it meant my liver could keep up with my drinking habits. But maybe, just maybe, we should slow down and think about what we’re doing here.
Because here’s the real mind-bender: We’re teaching machines to write the code of life itself. Not Python, not Java, but the actual fucking source code of existence. And the machines are getting pretty good at it. They’re still making mistakes - “hallucinating,” as the eggheads call it - but they’re learning. Fast.
The worst part? I can’t even tell if I’m more terrified or impressed. Maybe both. Maybe that’s just the bourbon talking.
But remember this: Nature’s been coding DNA for billions of years, and it still occasionally ships with bugs like wisdom teeth and male pattern baldness. So maybe we should be a little humble about letting our silicon friends take a crack at it.
Then again, what do I know? I’m just a guy who can barely remember his Gmail password, writing about machines that can design life itself.
Time for another drink. The future’s getting weird, folks, and we’re all along for the ride.
Signing off from the bottom of this bottle, Henry Chinaski
P.S. If anyone’s working on genetically engineered hangover-proof humans, my inbox is open.
Source: A ChatGPT-Like AI Can Now Design Whole New Genomes From Scratch