Listen, I’d write this sober if I thought it mattered, but after reading Jeff Jarvis’s latest pontifications about the state of the internet, I needed a drink. Or three. Currently nursing my fourth bourbon while trying to make sense of his new book “The Web We Weave.” Spoiler alert: it’s complicated.
Here’s the thing about Jarvis - he’s not wrong, but he’s not entirely right either. Kind of like that bartender who keeps telling you “one more won’t hurt” at 2 AM. You know better, but you want to believe him.
Let’s start with his take on Musk’s Twitter circus. Jarvis calls it what it is - a power play that somehow worked. The kicker? Musk torched $44 billion of other people’s money to buy a social media platform, ran it into the ground, and somehow made himself richer in the process. His Tesla stock went up. Because that’s how this timeline works, folks. It’s like burning down your house to collect insurance money, except the insurance company gives you a yacht as a bonus.
Now, about those tech billionaires swinging right faster than my bar tab on payday - Jarvis isn’t surprised, and neither am I. Money doesn’t just talk, it screams conservative values once there’s enough of it. Remember when tech workers used to have principles? Google employees protesting military contracts, Amazon workers demanding climate action? Now they’re all quiet as church mice while companies like Anthropic jump into bed with Palantir. Funny how principles shrink when the paycheck grows.
The part that really got me reaching for the bottle was Jarvis’s take on phone addiction and mental health. He’s got a point - blaming phones for kids’ problems is like blaming the bottle for my divorce. Sure, it didn’t help, but it wasn’t the root cause. These kids are inheriting a world that’s on fire, democracy’s going down the tubes, and we’re worried about their TikTok habits? That’s like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic while complaining about the ice cubes in your drink.
But here’s where it gets interesting - and pour yourself a drink for this one - Jarvis suggests we need to “demote the geeks” to fix the internet. He compares it to how printers became less important once printing became commonplace. The man might be onto something there. The priesthood of code is already crumbling thanks to AI. Soon, anyone will be able to tell a computer what to do without knowing Python from a snake in the grass.
Speaking of AI, Jarvis says he’s more scared of the AI bros than AI itself. Join the club, professor. These guys talk about “AI safety” like they’re preventing the robot apocalypse, while actual problems like bias, fraud, and environmental impact get swept under the server rack. It’s like worried about getting struck by lightning while your house is actively on fire.
The real gut punch comes when Jarvis talks about Trump and regulation. Companies are running scared, trying to stay neutral while democracy burns. Bezos’s Washington Post is tap dancing around controversy, Meta’s avoiding politics like it’s a bar tab, and everyone’s waiting to see which company Trump decides to take revenge on first.
You want to know the truly depressing part? None of this matters. The internet’s turned into a billionaire’s playground, and we’re all just paying admission. Jarvis thinks we can fix it by taking power away from the geeks, but that’s like thinking you can fix a casino by firing the dealers. The house always wins, folks.
Here’s my take: The internet isn’t broken because of the geeks - it’s broken because it perfectly reflects who we are. And who we are isn’t pretty. We’re messy, tribal, easily manipulated apes with smartphones and god complexes. The web we weave is the web we deserve.
But hey, what do I know? I’m just a drunk with a keyboard and an opinion. At least I’m honest about it, unlike the tech messiahs promising digital salvation while picking our pockets.
Time for another bourbon. The truth isn’t going to numb itself.
Yours truly from the digital gutter, Henry Chinaski
P.S. - If you’re reading this, Elon, I still haven’t gotten my blue checkmark. But I’ll take a Tesla if you’re feeling generous. It’ll make a great place to sleep off these hangovers.
Source: Jeff Jarvis: ‘Elon Musk’s investment in Twitter seemed insane, but it gave him this power’