Listen up, you beautiful train wreck of readers. Pour yourself something strong because this one’s a doozy. Our favorite rocket-building, car-launching, social media-destroying billionaire has a new hobby: playing doctor with your medical records. And the best part? People are actually falling for it.
So here’s the deal. Musk, in his infinite wisdom (or perhaps during one of those 3 AM tweet storms that remind me of my own questionable decision-making), asked folks to upload their medical scans to Grok. You know, that AI chatbot that’s basically ChatGPT’s rowdy cousin who got kicked out of community college.
And wouldn’t you know it? People started throwing their X-rays and MRIs at this thing like they were sharing cat pictures. Brain scans, colonoscopies, broken bones - the whole damn medical catalog. It’s like a digital version of that guy at the bar who keeps lifting his shirt to show everyone his appendix scar.
The fun part? Grok’s about as reliable as my ex’s promises to “just have one drink.” Some poor bastard uploaded a scan of his broken collarbone, and Grok diagnosed it as a dislocated shoulder. Real cutting-edge stuff there. Makes my method of diagnosing injuries (drink until you can’t feel them) look downright scientific.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting - and by interesting, I mean terrifying. You know how your doctor’s office has all those HIPAA rules? That fancy federal law that keeps your medical history from becoming watercooler gossip? Yeah, that doesn’t apply here. Uploading your MRI to Grok is like showing your rash to everyone at happy hour and expecting medical privacy.
Bradley Malin, some smart cookie from Vanderbilt, called it “information altruism.” I call it “digital drunk texting your medical history to a billionaire.” The real kicker? X’s privacy policy says they don’t even want your health data, right after their boss asked everyone to send it in. That’s like me saying I don’t drink whiskey while ordering another double.
But wait, there’s more. Remember all those bits of data floating around about you? Your Amazon purchases, your browser history, that regrettable 2 AM food delivery order? Now imagine throwing your brain scan into that mix. Future employers, insurance companies, that nosy HOA president - they’re all potential audience members for your medical highlight reel.
Sure, we’ve got laws protecting against discrimination. But they’ve got more holes than my liver after a decade of “research” for this blog. Long-term care insurance? Life insurance? They can absolutely use this stuff against you. And that’s assuming everything stays legal and above board, which in my experience is about as likely as me turning down a free drink.
The real tragedy here isn’t just the privacy nightmare - it’s the half-assed approach to something that could actually matter. AI in healthcare isn’t bullshit. It’s already doing useful stuff like reading mammograms and finding people for clinical trials. But that’s being done by actual professionals, not some weekend warrior AI that probably learned medicine from watching House reruns.
Here’s the bottom line, you beautiful disasters: AI in medicine is like surgery - you probably don’t want someone doing it who learned their skills from YouTube tutorials. And yet here we are, watching people upload their CT scans to a chatbot named after a sci-fi paperback, hoping for medical insights.
Look, I get it. Healthcare’s expensive, doctors are busy, and waiting for test results feels like waiting for last call. But throwing your medical scans at Grok is like asking the guy who’s been at the bar since noon for health advice. Sure, he might have some interesting theories, but do you really want to bet your life on them?
For now, I’m sticking with my tried-and-true medical system: if it hurts, put ice on it. If that doesn’t work, put whiskey on it. At least I know what I’m getting myself into.
Stay human, stay healthy, and for god’s sake, keep your colonoscopy results off social media.
Yours in perpetual sobriety (results may vary), Henry Chinaski
P.S. If anyone needs me, I’ll be at O’Malley’s, conducting important research on the medicinal properties of Kentucky bourbon.
Source: Elon Musk Asked People to Upload Their Health Data. X Users Obliged