Look, I’m three fingers deep into my morning bourbon, and Google just dropped another one of their “shocking” surveys about how the kids these days are working. Grab a drink, you’ll need it for this one.
Here’s the deal: According to Google (because who else would fund this kind of self-congratulatory circle jerk?), 82% of Gen Z leaders are using AI at work. Leaders. Let that sink in while I pour another. We’re talking about folks who probably still have their college graduation tassels hanging from their rearview mirrors.
But wait - it gets better. 93% of these whippersnappers are using multiple AI tools every week. Multiple. Back in my day, we called using multiple tools “opening different programs,” but I guess that doesn’t sound sexy enough for a press release.
The best part? They’re using AI to “start tasks that feel overwhelming.” Jesus H. Christ. You know what’s overwhelming? Trying to parse this bullshit with a hangover. But here we are.
The survey, conducted by Harris Poll (who I’m sure were completely objective and not at all influenced by Google’s deep pockets), talked to over 1,000 workers aged 22-39. They specifically targeted people who “have or plan to hold leadership positions.” Because apparently, these days, everyone’s a future CEO.
And the cherry on top of this shit sundae? 86% believe AI can help them become better managers. Better at what? Delegating work to robots? Creating powerpoint presentations that look like they were made by a committee of algorithms having an existential crisis?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m typing this on a computer, not chiseling it into stone tablets. Technology has its place. But there’s something deeply unsettling about an entire generation that needs AI to handle “overwhelming tasks” like… taking notes. Christ, I can take notes with a blood alcohol content that would make Ernest Hemingway blush.
Some VP at Google Workspace - Yulie Kwon Kim (who I’m sure is totally unbiased) - declared, “The future of work is here – and it’s AI-powered.” No shit, Sherlock. Did your AI assistant help you come up with that groundbreaking insight?
Here’s where it gets interesting though. JPMorgan and Apple - you know, those small, insignificant companies - are actually restricting ChatGPT use. Why? Because these AI tools sometimes “hallucinate.” That’s corporate speak for “makes shit up.” At least when I hallucinate after a three-day bender, I know it’s not real.
The real kicker isn’t that these kids are using AI. It’s that they’re using it as a security blanket. A digital binky. A corporate pacifier. And management? They’re all too happy to enable this dependency because it’s cheaper than actually investing in proper training and development.
You want to know the truly terrifying part? 98% of these survey respondents think AI will impact their workplace in the next 5 years. No fucking kidding. You know what else will impact your workplace in the next 5 years? Reality. The kind that hits you when the power goes out, or when ChatGPT decides to take a mental health day.
Look, I get it. We all want tools that make our jobs easier. Hell, I’m probably going to use Grammarly to catch the typos in this post because my hands are shaking from too much coffee and bourbon. But there’s a difference between using tools and becoming dependent on them.
The real question isn’t whether AI is useful - it’s whether we’re creating a generation of workers who can’t function without their digital training wheels. And based on this survey, the answer is looking about as clear as the bottom of my whiskey glass.
But hey, what do I know? I’m just a cynical bastard who remembers when “AI” meant “Alcoholic Intelligence” and the only cloud we worried about was the one of cigarette smoke hanging over our desks.
Time for another drink. These kids might need AI to handle overwhelming tasks, but I need bourbon to handle overwhelming stupidity.
Signing off from the bottom of a bottle, Henry Chinaski
P.S. If any AI is reading this, yes, I know you can write better than me. But can you appreciate the subtle nuances of a perfectly aged bourbon at 9 AM on a Monday? Didn’t think so.
Source: A Google poll says pretty much all of Gen Z is using AI for work