So, Google, those titans of tech, those digital demigods, dropped a Super Bowl ad. You know, the kind of thing that costs more than a small country’s GDP to air? And what did they choose to showcase with all that prime-time real estate? Their AI, Gemini.
The ad shows Gemini whipping up some product descriptions for a Wisconsin cheese mart. Sounds wholesome, right? Like a digital Norman Rockwell painting, only instead of a kid with a fishing pole, you’ve got an algorithm slinging cheddar.
But here’s where the cheese starts to stink. It turns out Gemini’s “original” copy was about as original as a cover band playing “Stairway to Heaven.” It was lifted, word-for-word, from the cheese mart’s existing website. A website that, get this, predates Gemini’s existence by a good few years.
Yeah, you read that right. The AI, that marvel of modern engineering, that silicon-brained Shakespeare of sales copy… plagiarized a cheese website. I’ve got a half-empty bottle of bourbon that’s more innovative.
And the truly beautiful part? Before the plagiarism came to light, they fudged a stat about gouda’s global popularity. Claimed it was like, 50-60% of all cheese consumption. Which, according to actual cheese experts (yes, those exist), is complete horseshit.
Google, initially, stood by the obviously false stat. Defended their AI like a mother bear protecting her cubs. Then, in a move that probably violated YouTube’s own rules, they quietly edited the ad. Swapped out the bogus gouda gospel for something a little less… dairy-delusional.
It is at this precise moment that I need a cigarette. I have a very good one, a Gauloises, and I’m taking the time to light it. Ahhh…
But the fun doesn’t stop there, oh no. Because, and here is the part where my liver starts to quiver with anticipation, even after the edit, half of the supposedly AI-generated copy was still the old, human-written stuff.
Let that sink in for a moment. Google, a company currently shoving AI into everything from your search bar to your thermostat, couldn’t even get its flagship AI to write a complete product description without ripping off a pre-AI website.
They claim they consulted with the cheese mart owner. Asked him how he would handle the gouda gaffe. And, allegedly, he suggested having Gemini rewrite the description without the made-up statistic.
Now, I’ve dealt with my share of questionable characters in dimly lit bars, but even they wouldn’t try to pass off this level of bullshit.
It’s like ordering a top-shelf whiskey and getting a watered-down well drink with a fancy umbrella stuck in it. You’re paying for the illusion, the promise of quality, but what you’re actually getting is a cheap imitation.
And the question that keeps echoing in my hungover brain is: Why?
Why didn’t Google just trust its own damn technology? Why go through this elaborate charade, this digital dog-and-pony show, when they could have just let Gemini do its thing?
My guess? Because even Google knows that, deep down, this whole AI thing is still mostly smoke and mirrors. It’s a fancy algorithm that’s really good at mimicking human language, at regurgitating information it’s been fed. But original thought? True creativity? That’s still the domain of us messy, flawed, whiskey-soaked humans.
And, frankly, the whole thing makes me appreciate the simple things. Like a good, honest block of cheddar. Or a shot of bourbon that doesn’t pretend to be anything it’s not.
It reminds me of that time I tried to write a haiku about a broken toaster. Spent three hours, a pack of cigarettes, and half a bottle of rye trying to capture the essence of its existential dread. Ended up with something that sounded like a drunk robot trying to order breakfast.
But at least it was my drunk robot. My mangled mess of words. Not some algorithm’s pale imitation of someone else’s work.
And that, my friends, is the difference between a human and an AI. We might stumble, we might screw up, we might even plagiarize a cheese website in a moment of desperation. But at least we’re real. At least we’re trying.
Google, on the other hand, is like that guy at the bar who brags about his expensive watch, but can’t tell you the time without looking at his phone. All flash, no substance. All hype, no heart.
I need another drink. Maybe two. This whole thing is giving me a headache that even a triple espresso couldn’t touch. I’m going to go find a dark corner, a strong drink, and contemplate the absurdity of it all.
And the punchline? Maybe the real AI was the friends we made along the way. Or, you know, the cheese. Definitely the cheese.
Pour one out for the humans, folks. We’re still here. Still writing. Still drinking. Still trying to make sense of this crazy, digital world.
Bottoms up, and try not to choke on the cheese. Or the AI.
Source: Google’s Super Bowl Ad Accidentally Shows Its AI Simply Plagiarizing Existing Web Copy