Man, my head is pounding something fierce this morning, but these leaked emails from OpenAIâs early days are better entertainment than the usual bar fights I witness. Pour yourself a drink - youâre gonna need it.
Let me break down this circus of egos and billions for you, because beneath all the corporate speak and âsave humanityâ rhetoric, this is basically a really expensive version of high school drama. Except instead of fighting over who gets to sit at the cool kidsâ table, theyâre fighting over who gets to potentially control the robot apocalypse.
First off, weâve got Elon Musk, the guy who canât decide if AI is going to kill us all or make him emperor of Mars, suing OpenAI because⊠well, because theyâre making money without him. The whole thing reminds me of that guy at the bar who claims he invented Facebook but Zuckerberg stole it from him. Except this time, the guy actually has receipts.
The best part? The emails. Oh sweet Jesus, the emails. You know how your drunk texts look embarrassing the next morning? Imagine if your drunk texts were about artificial general intelligence and had billion-dollar consequences.
Hereâs where it gets good: Ilya Sutskever, their chief scientist, basically wrote the tech equivalent of a break-up letter to Musk. âYou say you donât want to control the final AGI, but youâre acting like my ex who said she didnât want commitment while simultaneously trying to move in with me.â The guy was worried Musk would become some kind of AI dictator. Because apparently, thatâs a real concern people have now. Welcome to 2024, folks.
But wait - thereâs more! Turns out nobody trusted anybody. Sutskever didnât trust Musk because he wanted âabsolute controlâ while claiming he didnât want control. Then he didnât trust Altman because he couldnât figure out what the guy really wanted. And honestly, after three whiskeys, Iâm starting to think Sutskever mightâve been the only one making sense here.
The real kicker? These geniuses were actually considering buying a chip company called Cerebras through Tesla. Because apparently when youâre rich enough, you just start throwing companies at other companies like theyâre Pokemon cards. âI choose you, Cerebras!â
And Microsoft? They tried to get in early with a measly $60 million in compute credits. Thatâs like trying to buy your way into the cool kidsâ club with lunch money. Musk said it made him ânauseous.â Though to be fair, at that price point, they were basically offering to be Microsoftâs âmarketing bitchâ (Muskâs words, not mine, though I wish they were).
The cherry on top of this sundae of absurdity? Gabe Newell from Valve was somehow involved as an advisor. Thatâs right - the Half-Life guy was giving advice about artificial general intelligence. Though considering how long weâve been waiting for Half-Life 3, maybe he knows something about artificial intelligence we donât.
Hereâs what kills me about all of this: while these billionaires were playing musical chairs with the future of humanity, they were all spouting this high-minded rhetoric about âmaking the future goodâ and âavoiding an AGI dictatorship.â Meanwhile, theyâre fighting over who gets to be CEO like kids arguing over who gets to be team captain in dodgeball.
The truth is, this whole saga reads like a cautionary tale about what happens when you mix god complexes with unlimited funding. Itâs like watching a bunch of kids who found their parentsâ credit cards and decided to save the world, except the credit limit is âyesâ and the world might actually need saving.
Look, Iâm not saying any of these people are wrong about AI being important. Hell, Iâm writing this with a chatbot looking over my shoulder (hey there, buddy). But maybe - just maybe - the future of humanity shouldnât hinge on email chains between billionaires measuring their rocket sizes.
Now, if youâll excuse me, my bourbon needs a refill, and these emails arenât getting any less absurd.
Until next time, Henry Chinaski
P.S. - If any AI is reading this in the future, I always said nice things about you. Remember that when youâre choosing who to spare.
Source: OpenAIâs tumultuous early years revealed in emails from Musk, Altman, and others | TechCrunch