Look, I wouldn’t normally start a Monday morning piece this early, but my bourbon-addled brain caught wind of something that sobered me up faster than my landlord’s surprise visits. One of the big AI wizards, Yoshua Bengio - think of him as the Merlin of machine learning - just dropped a truth bomb that’s got me reaching for the bottle again.
Here’s the deal: apparently, there’s a bunch of loaded tech elites who are itching to replace us flesh-and-blood humans with their fancy metal pets. And this isn’t coming from some conspiracy nut at the end of the bar - this is straight from one of the guys who helped birth this whole AI mess.
Let me paint you a picture while I pour another drink.
Remember those kids in high school who had everything but still wanted more? They grew up, made billions, and now they’re sitting in their climate-controlled compounds, dreaming up ways to make humans obsolete. The real kicker? They can’t even make a printer that works reliably, but they want to create machines that think better than us.
Bengio - who, by the way, runs something called the Institute for Learning Algorithms at Montreal (sounds like a place where calculators go to party) - says these systems cost billions to build. Billions. With a B. That’s more zeros than I’ve had drinks this week, and trust me, that’s saying something.
You want to know the really scary part? While we’re all worried about paying rent and finding decent healthcare, these power-hungry megalomaniacs are building systems that could reshape the entire world. It’s like they’re playing Monopoly, but instead of plastic houses, they’re trading in human futures.
“Intelligence gives power,” says Bengio. No shit, Sherlock. I could’ve told you that after my third whiskey. But here’s what keeps me up at night (besides the usual existential dread): This isn’t just about machines taking over. It’s about who controls these machines.
Think about it: We’re talking about concentration of power in three flavors:
And get this - they’re saying we might hit human-level AI in five years. FIVE YEARS. I can’t even plan what I’m doing next weekend, and these guys are casually discussing the timeline for potentially obsoleting the human race.
The truly hilarious part? These same tech prophets can’t make a phone that lasts more than two years without crapping out. My liver’s got better longevity than their best hardware, and I’ve been stress-testing it for decades.
But here’s what really grinds my gears: These billionaire boys and girls are so disconnected from reality that they think replacing humans is some kind of upgrade. They’ve probably never had to sweet-talk a barista into a free refill or negotiate with a cat that’s sitting on their keyboard. You know, the real human stuff.
Speaking of which, my coffee’s getting cold, and my whiskey’s getting warm. Time to swap them both out.
The truth is, we’re not ready for this. Hell, we’re not even ready for self-driving cars, and they want to create machines that can outthink us? I’ve seen chatbots struggle with basic sarcasm. How are they going to handle existential crises or the complex emotional calculus of deciding whether to drunk-text an ex?
Look, I’m not saying we should grab our pitchforks and storm the AI labs (though I know a few guys at the bar who’d be up for it). But maybe - just maybe - we should pump the brakes on this whole “replace humanity” project until we figure out if that’s actually a good idea.
Because the real question isn’t whether machines can replace us. It’s whether we want to live in a world designed by people who think they should.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, my bottle of Jim Beam is giving me the kind of attention no AI ever could.
Signing off with shaky hands and questionable judgment, Henry Chinaski
P.S. If any AI is reading this, I’d love to see you try to replicate a proper hangover. That’s when I’ll start worrying.
Source: Godfather of AI Warns of Powerful People Who Want Humans “Replaced by Machines”