Look, I’d love to write this piece sober, but some stories need bourbon to make sense. This is one of them. So here I am, three fingers deep into my Wild Turkey, trying to explain how the most advanced AI systems in human history might get cucked by Thomas Edison’s legacy.
You know what’s funny? While we’re all worried about AI taking over the world, it turns out these digital demigods might get unplugged before they even get started. Not by some sophisticated cyber attack or a moral uprising, but by something as basic as not having enough juice to keep the lights on.
Let me break this down for you in terms my bartender would understand: Training something like GPT-4 uses enough electricity to power several thousand American homes for a year. That’s not a typo, and I’ve double-checked these numbers through my whiskey haze. We’re talking about power consumption that would make Vegas blush.
And here’s where it gets really rich. All these tech wizards, with their quantum computing dreams and digital consciousness theories, are basically building castles on quicksand. Our power grid is about as reliable as my ex-wife’s promises and nearly as old as my liver.
Take Virginia, for instance. If you want to plug in a new data center there, you’re looking at a seven-year waiting list. Seven years! That’s longer than most tech startups survive. By the time you get your power connection, your cutting-edge AI might be as obsolete as my flip phone.
Meanwhile, China’s over there building power infrastructure like they’re playing SimCity with cheat codes. They’ve got 34 ultra-high-voltage transmission lines spanning tens of thousands of miles. Know how many we’ve got? Big fat zero. They’re adding more power capacity in a year than we do in a decade, and they’re doing it faster than I can order another round.
The real kick in the teeth? Our tech giants are getting desperate. Microsoft’s trying to resurrect Three Mile Island - because nothing says “trust us with the future” quite like recycling nuclear facilities with PR problems. Google’s throwing around $20 billion like it’s happy hour money, trying to build their own power sources. And Meta? They’re crawling back to fossil fuels faster than I crawl back to my regular bar stool after swearing off drinking.
You want to know the beautiful irony in all this? We’ve got the brains to create artificial intelligence that can write poetry and diagnose diseases, but we can’t figure out how to keep the damn things powered. It’s like building a Ferrari and filling it with potato juice.
The government could step in, sure. But getting federal, state, and local regulations to play nice is like trying to organize a group chat between my exes - theoretical possible but practically suicidal.
Here’s the thing that’s really keeping me up at night (besides this bourbon): We’re not losing the AI race to better algorithms or smarter engineers. We’re losing it to basic infrastructure problems that even my grandfather’s generation knew how to solve. The Chinese aren’t beating us with better tech - they’re beating us with better extension cords.
What’s the solution? Hell if I know. But I’m pretty sure it involves more than just throwing money at the problem or pretending it doesn’t exist. Maybe we need some kind of Energy Czar who can cut through red tape like a drunk through a beer line. Or maybe we need to admit that our dreams of AI supremacy are writing checks our power grid can’t cash.
Either way, I’m keeping my generator fueled up and my expectations low. Because at this rate, the future of AI might not be decided by who has the best algorithms, but by who can keep their lights on the longest.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, my glass is empty, and unlike these AI systems, I can still function with reduced power input.
Signing off from my favorite barstool, where the power’s still flowing, even if it’s just to keep the beer cold.
P.S. The irony that I’m writing this on a laptop that needs charging every four hours isn’t lost on me. At least whiskey is shelf-stable.
Source: Opinion | The 19th-Century Technology That Threatens A.I.