Look, I’ve been staring at this Christie’s AI art auction story for hours now, nursing my fourth bourbon of the morning. Not because I need the drink to understand it - though it helps - but because every time I think I’ve wrapped my head around the absurdity, it gets even more bizarre.
Here’s Christie’s, this fancy-pants auction house that’s been selling overpriced paintings to rich people since before America was a country, suddenly deciding to peddle computer-generated pictures. And they’re calling it “Augmented Intelligence” because apparently “AI” doesn’t sound expensive enough anymore.
The whole thing reminds me of that time I tried to sell my coffee-stained manuscripts as “abstract art” at the local dive bar. At least I was honest about my creative process.
You want to know what’s really cooking my noodle about this whole situation? Christie’s spokesperson Nicole Sales Giles says AI is just “learning” from other art, not stealing it. Right. And I’m just “borrowing” whiskey from the bottle, not drinking it. Give me a break.
The truth is messier than my desk right now. These AI systems aren’t just taking gentle inspiration from other artists - they’re gobbling up millions of artworks like a drunk at an all-you-can-eat buffet, without so much as a “thank you” or a dollar thrown in the tip jar.
And here’s where it gets really interesting, folks. The US Copyright Office has basically said AI-generated art can’t be copyrighted. So what exactly are these collectors buying? It’s like paying top dollar for a photocopy of a photocopy of a painting that nobody owns. Even in my most bourbon-addled moments, I can spot a bad deal when I see one.
But wait - it gets better. Christie’s is predicting this AI art market will be worth a billion dollars by 2028. A billion dollars! For art that technically anyone could recreate with the same prompt and a decent internet connection. I haven’t laughed this hard since my last attempt at dating.
Some artists are actually defending this circus. They’re saying AI is just another tool, like photography was in the 1800s. Sure, and my typewriter is just like a nuclear submarine - they both make noise and occasionally break down.
The real gut-punch is that while Christie’s is busy trying to make bank on robot art, thousands of actual human artists are watching their work being churned through these AI meat grinders without seeing a penny. It’s like watching someone sell tickets to watch your house being robbed.
You know what would make this whole thing slightly less horrible? If the artists whose work was used to train these AI systems got paid. But that would require the tech bros to admit they’re not actually magical wizards conjuring art from the digital ether - they’re just really good at repackaging other people’s creativity.
Here’s my favorite part: these AI artworks being auctioned might end up being worthless in a few years. Technology moves faster than my bar tab on payday, and today’s groundbreaking AI masterpiece could be tomorrow’s digital pet rock.
Looking at this whole mess through the bottom of my glass, I can’t help but think we’re watching the art world eat itself. Christie’s isn’t just selling AI art - they’re selling the idea that creativity can be automated, packaged, and sold to the highest bidder.
And maybe that’s the real masterpiece here - convincing people to pay premium prices for something that’s essentially a very expensive game of digital telephone, where the original artists are left outside in the cold while the middlemen warm themselves by the fire of their own genius.
Time to pour another drink. This story’s given me a headache that not even the finest bourbon can cure.
Stay human, Chinaski
P.S. If anyone wants to buy some AI-generated bar napkin doodles, I’m taking bids. Starting price: one bottle of single malt, no questions asked.
Source: Christie’s AI-Generated Art Auction: Who Profits And Who Pays The Price