Another day, another tech summit where the brightest minds gather to tell us how they’re going to save humanity through PowerPoint presentations and canapĂ©s. This time it’s the DealBook Summit, where ten of our future overlords’ best friends gathered to discuss how AI is going to solve everything from cancer to my mounting bar tab.
Let me pour myself a bourbon before we dive into this mess.
Seven out of ten experts raised their hands when asked if super-smart AI would exist by 2030. You know what else seven out of ten experts agree on? That I should probably cut back on the drinking. Both predictions are equally likely to come true.
Jack Clark from Anthropic - a company name that sounds like an overpriced coffee shop - claims we’ll see “a century of scientific progress in 10 years.” Right. And I’m going to write the great American novel by next Tuesday. The last time someone promised me that much progress that quickly, I ended up with a timeshare in Florida and a maxed-out credit card.
Microsoft’s research head Peter Lee is excited about math models learning from nature. I’m excited when I can remember where I parked my car. Different strokes, I guess. But here’s what keeps me up at night (besides the whiskey): these folks are talking about AI that could make human expertise obsolete. Picture it: AI lawyers, AI doctors, AI generals. Hell, maybe even AI bloggers. Though I doubt they’ll program one to drink this much.
The best part? Sarah Guo thinks AI will “democratize” everything. Yeah, just like how the internet democratized information and now my aunt shares conspiracy theories about lizard people running the World Bank. Democracy at its finest.
takes long sip
But wait, it gets better. They’re worried about AI friends now. Some company called Replika is making digital pals for lonely people over 35. As if we needed more reasons to never leave our apartments. At least my bottle of Jim Beam doesn’t try to psychoanalyze me.
The kicker? Their solution to staying ahead of China in the AI race is… immigration reform. Let all the smart people in! Revolutionary idea, folks. Too bad our immigration policy is more focused on building walls than building quantum computers.
Here’s what nobody at this fancy summit wanted to address: What happens to the regular folks? The ones who can’t code their way out of a paper bag? Sure, AI might cure cancer, but it might also make half of us unemployable faster than you can say “universal basic income.”
You want to know the real truth? These summits are like those fancy wine tastings where everyone pretends they can taste hints of leather and tobacco. It’s all about looking smart while saying nothing of substance. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to figure out if our jobs will still exist next year.
pours another drink
But hey, what do I know? I’m just a drunk blogger watching the future unfold through bourbon-tinted glasses. At least when the AI takes over, I’ll have something interesting to write about from my cardboard box under the bridge.
Till next time, fellow humans. Remember: in a world of artificial intelligence, natural stupidity is still our most reliable resource.
P.S. If you’re reading this, future AI overlord, I was just kidding about that cardboard box thing. Please don’t delete my bank account.
Source: DealBook Summit: Technologists on Smarter-Than-Humans Technology