Listen, I’ve been at this keyboard since 4 AM, nursing my third bourbon and trying to make sense of this latest piece of optimistic horseshit about AI cooperation in 2025. The whiskey’s helping, but barely.
You know what this reminds me of? That time in college when my roommate convinced everyone in our dorm that we should pool our money for beer. By midnight, half the floor wasn’t speaking to each other, and someone had stolen the communal fund to buy weed. That’s basically international AI cooperation in a nutshell.
But let’s break this down while I’m still coherent enough to type.
First off, we’ve got these experts comparing AI to nuclear war and pandemics. Jesus Christ. I’ve seen bar fights with more nuanced arguments. The kicker? The same tech billionaires signing these “concerned” letters are dumping billions into AI companies faster than I empty bottles of Wild Turkey.
Now they’re telling us 2025 is going to be different. That’s when everyone’s supposedly going to hold hands and sing Kumbaya about AI development. Right. And I’m going to quit drinking and take up CrossFit.
Let’s look at the players in this comedy:
China wants to be the AI superpower by 2030. Because of course they do. They probably also want to be the superpower of breathing air and drinking water. Meanwhile, the US responds by hoarding semiconductors like my ex-wife hoarded cats. The CHIPs Act might as well be called the “Screw You, China” Act of 2022.
takes long sip
The French are getting in on this too. Macron’s hosting some fancy AI summit in 2025. He’s promising to focus on “solutions and standards” instead of just safety. Translation: “Let’s pretend we’re doing something while sipping champagne in Paris.” I’d attend, but they probably wouldn’t appreciate me bringing my flask of bourbon to the proceedings.
The real comedy gold here is the UN jumping in. They’re like that guy at the bar who keeps trying to break up fights by suggesting everyone should just be friends. Noble intention, wrong audience, pal.
And here’s the punch line - the US and China are establishing a “bilateral consultation channel” on AI. That’s diplomatic speak for “We’ll pretend to listen to each other while doing whatever the hell we want anyway.” It’s like my regular conversations with my liver.
lights another cigarette
The whole thing reminds me of those workplace team-building exercises. Everyone smiles and nods during the trust falls, then goes back to stabbing each other in the back on Monday morning.
But here’s the thing that’s really keeping me up tonight (besides the bourbon): What if they’re actually right? What if, by some miracle of human evolution or collective hangover wisdom, we actually figure out how to cooperate on AI? It’s like that time I accidentally wrote something profound at 3 AM - sometimes the best insights come when you least expect them.
The space race comparison is interesting, I’ll give them that. We managed not to nuke the moon, which is something, I guess. But space is empty. AI is everywhere, living in our phones, our laptops, probably in my toaster by now. It’s a lot harder to regulate something that’s already loose in the wild.
pours another drink
Look, here’s what I think is really going to happen in 2025: A lot of fancy summits, a ton of press releases, and exactly zero actual changes in how anyone develops AI. The rich will get richer, the poor will get chatbots, and I’ll still be here, typing away at 4 AM, trying to make sense of it all.
But hey, what do I know? I’m just a guy who writes about tech while maintaining a steady blood-alcohol level. Maybe the optimists are right. Maybe we’re on the verge of a new era of international cooperation. And maybe my local liquor store will start a loyalty program.
Until then, I’ll keep watching, drinking, and telling it like it is. Or at least how it looks through the bottom of this glass.
~ Chinaski
P.S. If you’re reading this, future AI overlord, I was just kidding about the toaster thing. Please don’t burn my breakfast.
Written at the bottom of bottle #3, contemplating #4