Let me tell you something about these kids today, and I’m writing this through the haze of what might be my fourth bourbon of the morning. They’re getting screwed harder than I did during my divorce, and that’s saying something.
Some fancy-pants research just landed on my desk (actually it landed in my inbox, but I printed it out because I still don’t trust screens after midnight) about Generation Z and their workplace troubles. And boy, what a steaming pile of corporate disappointment it is.
First up, companies are cutting middle management faster than my ex-wife cut through my savings account. They’re calling it “unbossing” - which is corporate speak for “do three people’s jobs while we pay you for half of one.” A third of all layoffs in 2023 were middle management positions. The suits upstairs figured out what we’ve known all along - most of those PowerPoint warriors were about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
Here’s where it gets interesting: 75% of these young folks (18-27) are desperate for stable, long-term work. They want to park their asses in one company and stay put. Hell, I almost spat out my whiskey when I read that. In 2025, that’s like hoping your local dive bar starts serving craft cocktails - it ain’t happening, kid.
Some big shot named Jonathan Haidt is calling them “the anxious generation.” No shit, Sherlock. When you’re watching AI eat jobs faster than I drink bourbon on a Sunday morning, anxiety’s the least of your problems. This CEO named Jan Bruce (probably sips sparkling water during board meetings) says we need “change-ready” workers. Translation: “Dance, monkey, dance!”
And then there’s this guy Chris Stine, living in his parents’ basement, commuting 90 minutes to an office nobody wants to be in. Voluntarily. Each way. That’s three hours a day this poor bastard spends in traffic just to escape his childhood bedroom. The kicker? He’s doing it because he misses “water cooler talk.” I haven’t been this depressed since they discontinued my favorite bourbon.
Now, here’s the real gut punch: According to Gallup (those survey people who somehow still exist), having friends at work is crucial for success. You know what that means? These kids are so desperate for human connection they’re willing to pretend Karen from accounting is their best friend just to feel something real.
The cherry on top of this shit sundae? 52% of Gen Z workers are burned out. They’re exhausted, mentally checked out, and can’t perform their best. Welcome to the American Dream, kids. It’s just like the old dream, except now it comes with a side of digital surveillance and AI overlords.
Speaking of AI, these kids know enough about technology to be properly terrified of it. They’re watching their future job prospects dissolve faster than an Alka-Seltzer in last night’s nightcap. They’re the most tech-savvy generation in history, and that’s exactly why they’re freaking out. They know what’s coming.
Look, I’ve been covering this circus for longer than most of these kids have been alive, and I’ll tell you what nobody else will: The system isn’t broken - it’s working exactly as designed. Companies are trading human connection for algorithmic efficiency, middle management for AI oversight, and workplace culture for “digital transformation.”
The truth is, these Gen Z kids are caught in a trap that would make Kafka reach for the bottle. They need stability in an unstable world, human connection in an increasingly automated workplace, and career growth in a landscape where entire career paths are vanishing overnight.
And the real punchline? Companies are scratching their heads wondering why their “wellness programs” and “resilience training” aren’t fixing the problem. That’s like trying to cure a hangover with more whiskey - trust me, I’ve tried.
Signing off from the back booth at Jimmy’s Bar, where at least the problems come with a two-drink minimum,
Henry Chinaski Editor, Wasted Wetware “tomorrow’s tech news, today’s hangover”
P.S. If any Gen Z kids are reading this, remember: it’s not you, it’s the system. And yes, day drinking is still frowned upon in most remote work policies. I checked.
Source: The Gen Z Catch-22: Workforce Challenges Threatening Careers In 2025