Listen, I’ve been staring at this news about AI and education for three hours now, nursing my fourth bourbon, and I still can’t decide if we’re witnessing a revolution or a train wreck. Probably both. Let me break this down while I still have enough motor functions to type.
Remember when education meant teachers, textbooks, and falling asleep in class? Those were simpler times. Now we’ve got AI tutors that never sleep, never need a coffee break, and never show up hungover to grade papers (unlike yours truly on that one memorable substitute teaching gig).
The whole ed-tech landscape is getting hit by two freight trains at once: AI that’s smarter than half my former professors, and the return of Trump-era policies that’ll make education look like a 50-state game of Monopoly. And believe me, nobody’s passing GO or collecting $200.
Let’s start with the AI circus. ChatGPT and its digital circus are doing to homework help what Netflix did to Blockbuster – making it free, instant, and slightly morally questionable. Chegg, the former king of “helping” students with their homework (wink, wink), is watching its stock tank faster than my bank account after last weekend. Down 74% this year? That’s not a decline, that’s a nosedive into concrete.
But here’s where it gets interesting, and pour yourself a drink because you’ll need it: Some companies are actually surfing this tsunami. Take Duolingo, that annoying green owl that haunts your notifications. They’re up 65% because they figured out how to make AI their friend instead of their replacement. They’ve got AI characters now that help you learn languages by role-playing. It’s like having a drunk conversation with a robot at 3 AM, except it’s actually educational.
Then there’s this outfit called Elevo. They’re doing something clever – using AI to find good coaches and track student well-being. It’s like having a guidance counselor who never gets tired and doesn’t keep a flask in their desk drawer (not that I’m judging).
But wait, it gets better. Enter Linda McMahon, potentially our next Education Secretary. Yes, THAT McMahon, from WWE. We’re going from wrestling entertainment to wrestling with education policy. Trump wants to “send Education BACK TO THE STATES,” which is basically like giving 50 different DJs control over different speakers at the same party. What could possibly go wrong?
The real kicker? This combination of AI and decentralized education is creating a landscape where the winners aren’t just the ones with the best tech – they’re the ones who can play political hopscotch across state lines while keeping their AI systems from going full Skynet.
You want to know who’s going to win in this brave new world? It’s not the companies with the fanciest AI or the biggest marketing budgets. It’s the ones who can convince both robots and bureaucrats to play nice together. Good luck with that.
Look, I’ve been covering tech long enough to know that whenever someone promises a revolution in education, it usually ends up being about as revolutionary as a new flavor of potato chips. But this time? This time it feels different. Maybe it’s the bourbon talking, but we’re watching education transform into something that would make our old school principals need therapy.
The truth is, we’re creating an education system where AI does the teaching, politicians do the deciding, and somewhere in between, actual learning might accidentally happen. It’s either brilliant or terrifying, and I’m too sober to figure out which.
For now, I’m going to do what any responsible journalist would do: order another drink and watch this beautiful disaster unfold. Because whether we like it or not, this is the future of education – a wild cocktail of artificial intelligence and political theater, served with a twist of chaos.
Until next time, Henry Chinaski
P.S. If any AI is reading this, I swear that B- you gave me in Advanced Algorithms was totally unfair.
[Posted at 2:47 AM from The Broken Keyboard Bar & Grill]
Source: How AI And Trump’s Education Policies Are Reshaping Ed-Tech