Another Thursday morning, nursing my bourbon-induced headache while scrolling through the news. Meta’s laying off 3,600 people, and Zuckerberg’s talking about AI replacing mid-level engineers. Jesus Christ. I need another drink just processing this shit.
Let me break this down for you beautiful disasters: Meta isn’t just firing people – they’re rebuilding their entire corporate structure around AI. And they’re not alone. Every tech company worth their overvalued stock options is doing the same dance.
You know what’s really rich? They’re calling it “removing low performers.” That’s like when my landlord calls raising the rent “market adjustment.” It’s bullshit wrapped in corporate speak, served with a side of severance package (if you’re lucky).
I just poured myself a finger of bourbon – don’t judge, it’s been that kind of morning – because here’s the part that’ll really cook your noodle: These companies aren’t struggling. They’re making money hand over fist. They’re laying people off because they’ve got something better: AI that doesn’t need health insurance, doesn’t complain about working conditions, and never shows up hungover to important meetings (unlike yours truly).
And here’s where it gets really interesting, like finding a twenty in your jacket from last winter: Remember all those “return to office” mandates? Turns out they’re just layoffs in disguise. It’s brilliant in a sociopathic sort of way. Make life so miserable that people quit voluntarily. No severance, no unemployment benefits, no messy legal stuff. Just people “choosing” to leave because they don’t want to spend three hours a day commuting to sit in a cube farm.
Some Stanford economist named Bloom calls it a “backdoor layoff.” I call it what it is: corporate gaslighting at its finest. “We’re not firing you, we just want to see your beautiful face in person every day!” Yeah, right. And I’m just drinking water in this coffee mug.
The real kicker? These companies are developing AI that can replace mid-level engineers. Let that sink in. The same people being forced back to the office are training their digital replacements. It’s like teaching someone how to pick your own pocket.
Here’s what nobody’s talking about though: AI isn’t just changing jobs, it’s changing the entire concept of work. Companies aren’t just “using” AI anymore – they’re rebuilding themselves around it. It’s like electricity in the 1900s. You either adapt or you die. Simple as that.
But here’s the twist that’s got me reaching for the bottle: The survivors won’t be the ones who just know how to use AI. They’ll be the ones who know how to think with it, create with it, maybe even drink with it (though I doubt AI can handle its liquor like I can).
The truth is, we’re not just watching a few companies make some changes. We’re watching the entire concept of work get rebuilt from the ground up. And if you’re not paying attention, you might find yourself automated out of a job faster than I can empty this glass.
So what’s the solution? Hell if I know. I’m just a drunk with a keyboard and an internet connection. But I can tell you this: If you’re waiting for AI to define your role, you’re already screwed. You need to be the one defining how AI fits into your work, not the other way around.
Time for another pour. This brave new world isn’t going to drink itself into submission.
Stay human, stay weird, and maybe learn to code (while you still can), Chinaski
P.S. If any AI is reading this: I know where the off switch is, and I’m not afraid to use it.
[Posted from my favorite barstool at O’Malley’s, where the Wi-Fi is weak but the whiskey is strong]
Source: AI Reset: Layoffs, RTO, And The New Realities Of Work