Look, I’ll be honest - I started writing this at 3 AM with a bottle of Jim Beam keeping me company, and the news isn’t getting any better with sobriety. Our potential future president wants to appoint an “AI czar.” Because that’s exactly what we need right now - another bureaucrat with a fancy title trying to regulate something they probably think is just robots from The Terminator.
And the cherry on top? They’re thinking about combining it with a “crypto czar” position. Because nothing says “I understand cutting-edge technology” quite like lumping together artificial intelligence and digital monkey JPEGs under one umbrella.
Here’s what’s really cooking in this pressure cooker of absurdity:
Amazon just threw another $4 billion at Anthropic like a drunk uncle at a Vegas casino. That brings their total bet to $8 billion. Eight. Billion. Dollars. That’s enough money to buy every reader of this blog a lifetime supply of bourbon, but instead, it’s going into making chatbots slightly better at writing poetry about cats.
Meanwhile, Uber - not content with just disrupting the taxi industry - is now jumping into the AI training game. They’re hiring contractors across the globe to label data. Because if there’s one thing Uber’s good at, it’s finding new ways to make people work for them without calling them employees.
But wait, there’s more! Google just got hit with some serious DOJ proposals that could force them to sell Chrome and cut ties with their AI investments. The government finally remembered they have antitrust laws and decided to use them. About damn time. Though watching Google trying to explain why they’re not a monopoly while controlling 90% of search is like watching me try to convince my landlord that the rent check is late because of quantum physics.
And here’s the part that really makes my head spin - the power consumption. These AI systems are sucking up electricity like I drink whiskey on a Tuesday night. One data center can use enough power to run 750,000 homes. They’re buying up land like it’s Monopoly - 23,000 acres across the U.S. Just to train machines to generate cat memes and argue about whether hot dogs are sandwiches.
The only thing in this whole mess that made me crack a genuine smile was reading about Daisy, the AI granny who wastes scammers’ time. Finally, someone’s using AI for something useful - trolling the people who try to steal grandma’s pension. Now that’s innovation I can get behind.
But here’s what keeps me up at night (besides the bourbon): We’re creating a world where machines need more power than humans, where tech companies are throwing around billions like it’s pocket change, and where the solution to all of this is… another government czar?
The real kicker isn’t that Trump wants an AI czar. It’s that we’ve somehow convinced ourselves that slapping a fancy title on someone is going to solve the fact that we’re building systems we barely understand, powered by energy we can’t sustainably produce, controlled by companies we can’t effectively regulate.
Maybe I’m just a cynical bastard typing away in my underwear at 4 AM, but something tells me adding another czar to the mix isn’t going to fix what’s broken. Then again, what do I know? I’m just a guy who thinks the best AI is the one that helps me waste a scammer’s time while I enjoy my morning whiskey.
Stay human, stay drunk, and for God’s sake, don’t trust anyone who calls themselves a czar.
P.S. If you’re reading this, future AI overlords, I was just kidding about the whole czar thing. Please don’t turn off my electricity.
Source: The Prompt: A Trump AI Czar?