Look, I’ve been writing about tech long enough to know when two forms of professional bullshit are about to create a supernova of pure, weapons-grade nonsense. And folks, we’re watching it happen down under right now. Pour yourself a drink - you’re gonna need it.
So here’s the deal: Some genius at LJ Hooker (yes, that’s really the company’s name, and no, I’m not drunk enough to make that up) decided to let ChatGPT write their real estate listings. The result? They advertised a house near two schools that don’t exist. Not “schools that aren’t very good” or “schools that are closing soon” - schools that straight up never existed in the first place.
But here’s where it gets interesting. When caught with their digital pants down, instead of apologizing and promising to do better, the agent dropped this truth bomb: “I don’t know any real estate agent that doesn’t use AI.” Holy shit, folks. That’s like getting caught cheating at poker and saying “Yeah, but everyone at the table has aces up their sleeves!”
The kicker? Australia’s largest real estate network, Ray White Group, came right out and admitted they’re using AI for both writing copy AND “enhancing” photos. Translation: They’re letting robots write fiction about houses while also giving them digital makeup. It’s like Tinder profile optimization, but for buildings.
Now, I’ve spent enough time around both real estate agents and AI to know this unholy marriage was inevitable. Both industries are built on the fine art of making things sound better than they are. AI promises to cure cancer while struggling to count to four, and real estate agents can make a crack house sound like the Taj Mahal. Put them together? You’ve got a bullshit multiplier that would make a politician blush.
Let’s break down why this is such a spectacular clusterfuck:
First, ChatGPT, like my ex after too many martinis, has a tendency to make shit up. It hallucinates facts with the confidence of a drunk guy explaining quantum physics at last call. The difference is, my ex never tried to sell anyone a house near an imaginary school.
Second, the real estate industry is already operating in a reality-adjacent universe where every dump is “cozy” and every neighborhood is “up and coming.” Adding AI to this mix is like giving hallucination-inducing mushrooms to someone who’s already seeing pink elephants.
Third - and this is the part that makes me reach for the bourbon - nobody seems to care. The industry’s response has basically been “Yeah, we’re all doing it, just make sure to check if the stuff exists.” That’s like saying “Sure, we’re all driving drunk, just try not to hit anything important.”
The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission, bless their bureaucratic hearts, reminded everyone that lying in advertisements is actually illegal. Shocking, I know. But they said it with all the enthusiasm of a DMV employee on a Monday morning.
Meanwhile, Tim McKibbin from the Real Estate Institute of NSW called the technology “almost science fiction.” No shit, Tim. That’s because science fiction, like AI-generated real estate listings, is made up.
Here’s what nobody’s talking about though: This is just the tip of the iceberg. Right now, we’re catching the obvious fails - the phantom schools, the digitally enhanced dumps. But what about all the subtle BS that’s slipping through? The AI-generated neighborhood descriptions that sound plausible but are complete fiction? The “historical features” that some robot hallucinated after binge-reading Victorian architecture blogs?
The real estate industry has found its perfect partner in crime: a technology that can generate unlimited amounts of persuasive nonsense at the push of a button. It’s like giving a used car salesman a machine that automatically generates stories about little old ladies who only drove to church on Sundays.
So what’s the solution? Hell if I know. But I can tell you this: If you’re house hunting in Australia (or anywhere else for that matter), treat every listing like it was written by a creative writing AI that’s been drinking paint thinner. Because it probably was.
The truth is out there, somewhere, buried under layers of AI-generated adjectives and digitally enhanced photos. Just remember: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably came from ChatGPT.
Now if you’ll excuse me, my bottle of Wild Turkey is getting lonely.
Signing off from my definitely-not-AI-enhanced apartment, Henry Chinaski
P.S. If any real estate agents are reading this, I’ve got a bridge in Sydney I’d like to sell you. Don’t worry, ChatGPT says it’s a great investment.
Source: Real estate listing gaffe exposes widespread use of AI in Australian industry - and potential risks