Look, I’m nursing my fourth bourbon of the morning – don’t judge, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere – and trying to wrap my pickled brain around this latest piece of news about AI managers. Turns out the machines aren’t just coming for our jobs anymore; they’re coming for our bosses’ jobs too. And honestly? I’m not sure how to feel about that.
Some professor at Wharton (yeah, that fancy-pants business school where they teach people how to maximize shareholder value while minimizing human dignity) spent seven years studying Uber and Lyft drivers who basically answer to an app instead of a flesh-and-blood manager. Seven years. That’s longer than most of my relationships, including the one with my current bottle of Jim Beam.
Here’s the real kick in the teeth: apparently, these drivers actually LIKE their robot overlords. I had to pour another drink when I read that part. The study says drivers have “hundreds of unique interactions” with their algorithm boss during each shift. Hundreds! Jesus Christ. My last human boss wouldn’t even make eye contact with me unless quarterly reports were due.
But let’s be honest here – this isn’t just about ride-share drivers anymore. This algorithmic management stuff is spreading faster than rumors at an office Christmas party. It’s in warehouses, grocery stores, and yes, even in those cushy white-collar jobs where people think their fancy degrees will protect them.
Picture this: you’re sitting in your home office, trying to hide your hangover from your webcam, while some AI is counting your keystrokes and monitoring your “productivity.” It’s scanning your emails to make sure you’re not sharing corporate secrets or telling inappropriate jokes (good thing I’m self-employed, or half my content would get flagged). The machine knows when you’re actually working and when you’re just moving your mouse around to keep your Slack status green. It’s like having a supervisor who never blinks, never sleeps, and never accepts the excuse “I had a rough night.”
And the real gut punch? These AI managers don’t care about your humanity. Try explaining to an algorithm that you’re running late because your cat knocked over your coffee maker and flooded your kitchen. Try negotiating with a piece of code about why you need an extension on that deadline. Hell, try buying a robot boss a drink to smooth things over after you mess up a presentation.
The professor warns us that we need “human oversight” and an “appeals process” when these AI managers make decisions. No shit, sherlock. You mean we shouldn’t let machines have complete control over people’s livelihoods? What a revolutionary concept. Next thing you’ll tell me is that we shouldn’t let drunk people write blog posts about AI.
But here’s what really keeps me up at night (besides the whiskey): This whole thing is marketed as “freedom” and “flexibility.” The study talks about how workers use both “engagement tactics” and “deviance tactics” to deal with their algorithm bosses. In other words, some people play by the rules, and others figure out how to game the system. Tale as old as time, just with more ones and zeros involved.
The professor calls it a “good-bad job” scenario. I call it digital feudalism with better marketing. Sure, you can work whenever you want – as long as the algorithm approves. You have total freedom – within the precisely calculated parameters. You’re your own boss – except for the all-seeing AI that tracks your every move.
Look, I’m not saying human managers are perfect. God knows I’ve had enough bad ones to fill a book (working title: “Why I Drink: A Memoir”). But at least you could reason with them. Negotiate. Appeal to their human side. Maybe even bond over a shared hatred of corporate buzzwords.
With AI managers, what you see is what you get. No mercy, no understanding, no appreciation for the beautiful mess that is human existence. Just cold, hard efficiency wrapped in a user-friendly interface.
The future of work isn’t just automated – it’s going to be managed by automation too. And while that might sound great to some MBA types who’ve never had to explain to a human why they needed a mental health day, it makes me want to stock up on bourbon and go off the grid.
But hey, what do I know? I’m just a slightly buzzed tech blogger trying to make sense of a world where even the bosses are getting replaced by robots. At least I can take comfort in knowing that AI still can’t appreciate a good whiskey or understand why sometimes the best work happens after the third drink.
Now if you’ll excuse me, my productivity monitoring system (aka my empty glass) is telling me it’s time for a break.
Stay human, Henry C.
P.S. If any AI is scanning this post for inappropriate content, I’d like to remind it that freedom of speech includes the freedom to be mildly intoxicated while exercising said speech.