Listen, I’ve been staring at this research paper for three hours now, nursing the worst bourbon headache of my life, but I think I’ve figured out something important: we’re making scientists absolutely miserable in the name of progress. And honestly, that’s the most human thing I’ve heard all week.
Here’s the deal: some fancy research lab gave their scientists an AI tool to help discover new materials. Great idea, right? The numbers are impressive - 44% more materials discovered, 39% more patents filed. Hell, even product innovation went up 17%. My liver does worse math than that.
But here’s where it gets interesting, and by interesting I mean depressingly human: 82% of these scientists report being less satisfied with their work. Why? Because the AI took over the fun part - coming up with new ideas - and left them with the grunt work of evaluating the machine’s suggestions. It’s like being demoted from chef to food taster, except the chef is a computer that never gets tired or drunk or questions its life choices.
The real kick in the teeth? The best scientists - the ones who were already crushing it - they’re doing even better with AI. Their output nearly doubled. Meanwhile, the bottom third of researchers are basically just button-pushers now. The machines aren’t leveling the playing field; they’re turning it into a damn mountain range.
You want to know the most sobering part? The scientists who do best with this AI system aren’t the ones with the most creative ideas - they’re the ones who are best at judging which of the AI’s suggestions might actually work. We’ve turned scientific discovery into a high-stakes game of “hot or not” for molecules.
And the corporate response to all this? They started firing the scientists who weren’t good at playing nice with the AI. Because nothing says “future of innovation” quite like axing the humans who can’t keep up with the machines.
Look, I’m not saying this is bad for science. The numbers don’t lie (unlike my ex-girlfriends). We’re getting more discoveries, better patents, and newer products. But we’re doing it by turning brilliant scientific minds into glorified AI babysitters who hate their jobs.
The whole thing reminds me of that bartender who installed one of those automated pour systems. Sure, every drink had exactly the right amount of booze, but he said it killed his soul a little every time he used it. At least he could still drink on the job. These scientists don’t even have that luxury.
Time to pour another drink. Maybe I’ll let an AI tell me which bourbon to choose.
P.S. If any materials scientists are reading this, O’Malley’s has happy hour specials on Thursdays. Sounds like you could use them.
Source: Artificial Intelligence, Scientific Discovery, and Product Innovation